Maxwellington III

That Third Amendment is really coming in clutch.

I give him credit for having the decency to look exhausted with his own empty horseshit

If you’re worried that “protesters getting out of hand” will give the President a reason to implement martial law in an American city, what do you think is happening now? They’re kidnapping and murdering people and the cops are being sent in to arrest people for noise complaints?

The Virgin Democratic Party Establishment Candidate: "ICE isn't coordinating with local police. This is no way to bring down prices!"

The Chad Episcopalian Bishop: "I have instructed my priests to prepare for martyrdom."

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

An off-duty ICE agent was just confronted in Minneapolis after people noticed a Nazi SS lightning bolt tattoo on his neck.

If you’re proud enough to ink it on your neck, why are you running when people notice?

We need more of this.

Jacob Frey: "To ICE -- get the fuck out of Minneapolis"

YouTube video by Turner Classic Movies Victor Laszlo Gets a Crowd To Sing "La Marseillaise" (Clip) | Casablanca (1942) | TCM

Happy New Year! 🎉

Walking into 2026 like Victor Laszlo ... 🗃️ #HATM

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOli...

MAGAZINER: How many veterans have you deported?

NOEM: We haven't deported veterans

MAGAZINER: We are now joined on Zoom by a combat veteran you deported to Korea

Fuckin Barb!

What the hell does that even mean

Where? I'll fight them!

I'd like to apply! I'm willing to move.

I saw the flag at half-mast here. Got my hopes up.

I just realized something. My mid-life crisis is gonna end up being me getting married and buying a house.

hi happy pride 🌈

be gay do crime

Buy MaxwellingtonIII a Coffee Become a supporter of MaxwellingtonIII today!

I start a new job on Monday! However, I do not get paid until the 20th. Which is why I am setting up a Ko-fi! I need help with bills and such until my first check deposits. Anything helps!

ko-fi.com/maxwellingto...

Sign that warns passersby that there are coyotes in the area, but for my joke purposes you only need to know that it says “Get big, get loud, and shout ‘go away, coyote!’”

I yelled “Coyote begone!” which is maybe why it bit my tits off

Long socks pull my leg hair. :(

Thick socks?

This expression says “I think I’m sitting in J.D. Vance’s wet spot.”

Sometimes it feels like I’m going crazy, because there is something that is right in front of our faces, has been for years, and nobody of consequence ever says it:
Donald Trump works for Vladimir Putin.
How much more proof does anyone need? And what is anybody going to do about it?

This scrum of pot-bellied, sunken-chested betas trying to bully an all-black clad badass Eastern European wasteland survivor while dressed like Men’s Wearhouse mannequins is peak cinema.