bug red

most people don't order from one pizza/sub place enough to discover the layers of skill expression involved in creating an order on their online portal. these people are missing out

not enough crews have a The Green One

sometimes the real shit is too strong!

i was today years old when i learned that the “pac” in pac-man is actually short for “packey,” which is short for “package store,” which is regional slang for “liquor store”

so basically, pac-man is just a drunk man who got lost on his way home 👀😞😅🙈

work from home, huh…? that sounds a lot like “homework” to me, and uhm, newsflash, buddy. i don’t *do* homework.

gets on motorcycle and drives away extremely fast

i was today years old when i found out that Captain Ahab actually was an actonym for Assigned Hater At Birth

i was today years old when i learned that “raise your spirits” refers to raising a glass of alcohol! like a toast!!

haven’t come out as transfem at work yet. i can’t wash my hands in the men’s bathroom too thoroughly or they’ll figure me out

graphic tee that says “i met god and she uses they/them pronouns”

the hair from today. also the apartment window view from today

perhaps the most they/them i’ve ever looked. can we get much higher

why is everyone lamenting & grieving their use of the em dash because it's an """ai tell""" now - i'm not giving it an inch or power over my words or my writing, fuck that

if you see me use an em dash please know it was borne of my human soul and not of any chatgpt nonsense

YES this show is perfect for the road. the world needs more of this program!!

some fits i’ve thrown together lately 🥰

sometimes you just have that round where you're like "ok yea i do know how to play this game"

going to start referring to vegetables as “nature’s cash”

my interests are on a slowly rotating cycle between Cowboy, Pirate, Spaceman, Samurai, Knight, and Akuma (he's his own category). much like the seasons if there were 2 more seasons

willem dafoe looking up in absolute horror

my small intestine processing 6 coke zeros seeing the iced brown sugar latte reach my lips:

they finally put chapell roan in fortnite y'all

same & this still includes the video game too

like, a show about j peterman from seinfeld would actually suck ass dude he’s supposed to appear ridiculous next to the regular cast. ugh

does anyone else get annoyed when they see ppl on the internet asking for a spin-off series for a side character who’s only funny because they show up infrequently

we are so fucking cooked man i hate it here

oh i’ll shit your pants bud

oh, a musical about a kid who's always had trouble making friends at school and all the music sounds like if you selectively bred christian rock to sound even more annoying. yeah sounds like it'll be a smash fuckin hit just send it i guess

dear evan hansen touring through work today... not sure how the people responsible for this show managed to thread the needle to create something both so sterile & yet also so tainted

let’s just say we all scream for ice cream

just realized this is now two posts in a row about nearly shitting myself, i’ll change it up next time i promise

“cheek to cheek” is my favorite jazz standard that also describes the way ice cream moves through my digestive tract

*gulp*