Ken Cheng

I have started doing this thing where I dip my whole body into water before leaving the house.

Afterwards I feel a lot cleaner and more confident.

I use the human-sized concave porcelain bowl that came with my toilet for some reason.

I call this ritual "watering thyself"

I too have a luteal phase. Yes, I am a man. No, I do not menstruate. Confused? My luteal phase is for the womb of the mind. Instead of babies I give birth to ideas and companies. Every month my body thickens the uterine lining of the brain. It's preparing for creation. And it's more tiring than childbirth. That's why I don't believe in maternity leave. Because I'm being Mother 24/7. And it's empowering as hell. It's time for male CEOs to go luteal. Who's with me?

The uterus of the mind

#lutealphase #menstruationmatters #linkedin

thank god there is one fewer qualified nurse on our streets

I’d say we need a Louvre for LinkedIn but it’d just be you Ken

Yessss manifested! Let's become pals/business connections

I've always wanted to connect with a Pine Cellar

Freelancers, don't read the above post

It's time to talk about something very personal. Receiving an invoice from a freelancer is very triggering. There, I said it. The thought of money leaving my account gives me distress. That's why it can take me 6, 10, sometimes even 15 months to transfer it. There is nothing more anxiety inducing than having to pay someone for a job they've done for you. I once received an invoice from my gardener and immediately threw my phone into the ocean. It's debilitating. I wish I could pay people on time, but my emotions won't let me. So please, if you are upset, just remember the person on the other end refusing to pay you is also a human. And they're going through a lot.

please, think about the damage you might cause before sending an invoice

I only ask one question in job interviews. "Would you still work for me if I were a worm?" If they say yes, I make them prove it. I go to my closet and get my human-sized worm costume. The candidate watches me crawl inside it. I lie on the floor below their chair, gently moving my tail from side to side. I stare up at them in silence, waiting for them to speak while wriggling. This usually lasts 15-20 minutes until they get freaked out and leave. If a candidate says no, I hire them immediately. You're an idiot if you would work for a worm. They can't speak or run a business. You should only work for human bosses.

would you still work for me if I were a worm?

brings a tear to my eye seeing all these left-wingers making jokes about charlie kirk's death. unfettered free speech is exactly what he would've wanted :')

I sold my cat and made a small profit. I bought my cat years ago for £60. His name was Tabby Catsparov. I grew to love the cat. One day, an acquaintance said they wanted my cat. She offered £90 for it. I took it instantly. 50% ROI is very rare in any business, even rarer on a cat. That night, I had a dream where Tabby Catsparov was talking to me. "Only £90? I thought you loved me." He guilt tripped me into selling him for such a low price. I knew I made a mistake. I went over to Beth's house and pleaded she'd give it back and I return the £90. Eventually, she relented. Phew. I took Tabby home and sold him online for £300. That night, I had another dream where Tabby was happy for me. "That's much better," he meowed. I could sleep guilt free knowing that I managed to get the best price.

sorry but tabby katsparov is inherently funny

Piotr Szczerek did nothing wrong

It was Deborah's 60th birthday at the office today. Such a milestone that I decided to bake a chocolate cake. Little did I know that Alan had also made a chocolate cake. When both cakes were presented, everyone seemed to think his was superior. They kept commenting how delicious his cake looked and how if this were a bakery he'd be the boss, not me. These comments kept going on and were hugely inappropriate. I had to do something. I cranked up the thermostat several degrees so both cakes began melting. By the time we were about to serve them, they were both destroyed. Had they not said anything, they would still have two equally delicious cakes. Let that be a lesson: if you have two cakes, don't compare them. You'll end up with none.

An important lesson for when you are given two cakes

Linkedin removed this post lol

From the TheGenius community on Reddit: Episode links. I'll update with new episodes Explore this post and more from the TheGenius community

Here you go

www.reddit.com/r/TheGenius/...

Didn't know they added #GeniusGame to Disney+

A radiologist called me yesterday. It sounded serious. They said they spotted an anomaly on my x-rays. I was prepared for the worst. They found a strange shape and the word "Quantamonster." That's the company logo of my new startup. Years ago I asked a surgeon to engrave it onto my patella. Now, every time I go for an X-ray, the radiologist sees it, gets intrigued. If they search it, they'll find that we've just opened a new seed round. They sign up. Some say to raise investor money you have to think outside the box. I say you need to think inside the body. Venture capitalism is in my bones.

A radiologist called me yesterday. I was prepared for the worst

I listed a packet of ramen on FB Marketplace. It was expired by 3 years 5 months. It sold instantly. Guess it's listing price. £700. How? Because no one else is selling expired ramen on there. That's called a gap in the market. Anything can be turned into a product - you just have to start selling it. A good businessman listens to demand. A great businessman creates it. It's the same with my LinkedIn. Nobody else is offering wisdom like me, and that's why it works. My LinkedIn is expired ramen.

I am expired ramen

I just sent a template rejection e-mail to 56 job applicants. They could see it was one mass email because I didn't hide their addresses. I did this on purpose. BCC is for cowards. Let's stop pretending that every single applicant is unique and special. You are all drones who didn't stand out. You are the sperm who didn't make it. You are nothing to me. One generic email is all you deserve. For me, it's merely a matter of efficiency. And efficiency doesn't care about your feelings. Better luck next time, [Applicant Name]

I said it.

YouTube video by Ken Cheng The Geniuses Play: Stella Dixit

More The Geniuses Play content! Watch these lovely #GeniusGame cast members play Stella Dixit!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oK9s...

I'm sorry to be the first to say it but: Ban all kisscams. They are intrusive. They are done without consent. And above all, they are ruining a CEO's fundamental right to take their head of HR to a public concert and embrace them in their arms. There is nothing wrong with that. I embrace my employees all the time and it is not sexual or romantic, especially the hotter female ones. I should be able to do that without judgement in public at, say, a baseball game or a beach hotel in the Bahamas. Enter the kisscam - the enemy of private staff bonding. Would you follow a CEO and his employee into their own homes and watch their private interactions? No. Do not watch this kisscam. Do not comment on this kisscam. Do not file for divorce just because of a kisscam. What happens on a kisscam is not canon. Ban all kisscams.

I'm sorry but kisscams have got to go

You can now watch these great #GeniusGame contestants play the game Skull!

Head on over to my Youtube channel to watch all the carnage and beef

YouTube video by Ken Cheng The Geniuses Play: Flip 7

Here's another episode of The Geniuses Play, this time: Flip 7!

Recording these has been so much fun, these guys are some of my favourite people to play board games with.

If you enjoyed #GeniusGame and like games, check these out on my Youtube!

youtu.be/ip_zBjVTJCo

IS IT OK TO CRITICISE A CANDIDATE'S HAIR? I interviewed a great candidate the other day, but they weren't the right fit. At the end, they asked us for feedback. I said it was his side parting. "Is that a business term?" "No, I mean your hair. It's atrocious." He was taken aback. "Why does that matter?" I explained. "Listen, I have to look at your hair every day, and it would genuinely affect my job performance, and sink the company. Your hairstyle is so ugly it could cost us millions of pounds." When I asked him if he would style it differently, he was outraged and left. Here's the thing: there was absolutely nothing wrong with his hair. I actually quite liked it. However, if somebody won't change their hairstyle to work for you, that's a bad sign. Like God testing Abraham, I was testing this man. He failed.

IS IT OK TO CRITICISE A CANDIDATE'S HAIR

YouTube video by Ken Cheng The Geniuses Play: Codenames

#GeniusGame fans!

Here's a video of the cast getting together to play the lovely word game Codenames.

If you liked the show and like board games, have a watch!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5G8W...

Thank you for supporting! And yes hope so too, that's the plan

Sadly not legal, and there's definitely not a YouTube Channel called Davidtennantdaily that has all the eps

This is tonight!

The #geniusgame cast are taking on Blood on the Clocktower, joined by some of my favourite players!

And it's all for charity!

Go to my YouTube to watch!

The restaurant I went to was horrifically understaffed. Several tables had been waiting over an hour to order. In my bag I had a 3kg tub of Haribo. I opened up and could see the starving customers eyes light up. I capitalised. "I'm willing to give away my Haribo...to the highest bidder." I began auctioning off the sweets. The restaurant went nuts. Bids shot sky high for each piece. A cola bottle went for £35. A tangfastic - £65. Most people would just see an annoying situation. I saw a gap in the market. I didn't even care about the profit. I did it for one thing: It was to see the smiles on their faces, when I sold them single pieces of Haribo at a high premium. Kids and grown ups love it so...the invisible hand of the free market.

You miss 100% of the impromptu Haribo auctions you don't take

An employee had a panic attack this week. Good. Panic attacks show they care. It shows they're invested in their work. Would you rather have an employee who is always calm and nonchalant? That means they're coasting. No mental breakdowns = quiet quitting. Obviously having too many would be bad. But one or two a year? That's the sweet spot. A doctor recommended Daniel take 3 weeks off because the job is so stressful. That made me smile. It shows he was willing to put working for me before his own physical and mental health. If your employee has good health, that's a red flag.