EpsFM

Hmm, saw Smerz live on Saturday and now basically think they are the best band ever? FYI their bassist on this tour has huge Julian Clary energy, which is slightly distracting

Berghain holds far too much weight in today's culture. Americans in particular need to shut up about it.

That's What I Go De School For

Woman sat in front of me on a plane today successfully played the word ‘NONCE’ during her NYT Spelling Bee game

Currently 'between hairdressers' — is that a phrase? Horrible place to be, anyhow

Got this geezer staying with us, right. He doesn’t speak a word of English, does fuck all to help around the house and wakes up screaming in his sleep 3-4 times a night. I’d kick him out… if he wasn’t my 1 year old son!

Sat next to a big table of hungover Gen Zs in a caff earlier. All of the lads ordered both a latte and large milkshake to accompany their fry up. Just an insane amount of milk to be ingesting, under any circumstance.

I did not know that between 1961–2001 the Rwandan flag was just the flag of Guinea with a giant 'R' slapped in the middle, lol

*watches 5 static blokes in their late 50s play pub rock from 30 years ago to a decent standard* “This is the cultural moment of the decade!!”

FYI I am very much enjoying the extended break from Premier League VAR calls and online lunatics using the acronym PGMOL

Waiting for a Sainsbury’s shop assistant to come over and approve my purchase of 0.0% beer on the self checkouts is easily my least favourite use of time

I once saw him doing some what I can only describe as ‘behind the bike sheds’ style snogging on the dance floor at De School, ironically enough

The only demographic who look truly unbothered by extreme heat are swaggy old blokes who have had years to perfect their hyper functional wardrobes. Wide-brimmed hats, baggy short sleeve shirts, wide tailored shorts, orthopedic soles ✅✅✅

Kölsch Summer (the style of beer, not the DJ)

David Byrne solo stuff very much music for toddlers

What’s the best restaurant in London?
So, what’s your take?
What’s the best neighbourhood in Paris?
Styling my DIY IKEA bookcase
Excuse me, I think I can speak your language
Do you shower in the morning or at night?
Fresh, easy pasta
Schooner Scorer here
So, what’s your take?

Key, Kearns, Coogan - the only funny Brits?

Having just seen The Ballad of Wallis Island I think we’ve now got to be thinking that Tim Key is at least in the conversation for national treasure status

We could have gotten to this Smerz album a bit quicker if All Saints had hired The Knife instead of William Orbit in 2000

In Bristol for the first time in a while today. Saw 4 people in Covid masks, heard someone order a “lager and lime” and the whole city stinks of blue vape.

“Inside Swindon's newest restaurant 'going down a storm' with locals”

Sometimes the real poetry is the emails we write along the way

Forget the EGOT, winning a Balon d’Or and a Palme d’Or would be much more impressive in my opinion

A few weeks ago I saw Jamie Vardy wandering around Marylebone. Today it was Jordan Henderson on Bond Street. What's next? Jack Wilshere in Belgravia? Joe Hart on Pall Mall?

London, where there’s a co-working space on every corner

Love guessing the word for “and” whilst fumbling my way through an order of food and/or drink in a Southern European country — got to be close to “eyhh” hasn’t it?

It is not possible to do a more Bluesky tweet than this, but I quite like The Guardian's recent redesign

Might get a tattoo that says “I’ve seen DJ Sprinkles play Panorama Bar. What have you ever done?”

At least Simone Inzaghi is playing it by the book: tanned, stressed looking guy with greying, mid-length hair in a crisp navy suit