microplastics enjoyer 🔞

where are these gyms where people crank hella hog 😭

that bush, wuff

wufff!

One like and I'll go to pup night

I feel like the only problem with this is you're asking Congress people to vote to make their jobs worse... a lot of people are very selfish

arf

Update! Even this wasn't glitched enough apparently, they removed it again!!!

I don't understand why it's not enforced equally, I see dozens and dozens of full on dick pics around me, yet IM not allowed to have anything even vaguely NSFW on my profile?

I live on the east Coast and I've never heard of Jira in my life 😭

wrfff your dick is perfect

a guy squeezed my nips so hard last night and they still hurt, but it was totally worth it

walking to work and carving FUCK ICE in the snow on random parked cars >>

is there a big hairy man I can lay underneath to stay warm this weekend.

inquire within

the shrinkage is REAL tonight

can it please just get cold, I'm sweating my ass off in this 45 degree weather wearing my bigass jacket

my lordd 😳😳🔥

Yeah I’m into BDSM, FF & DP — Big Deli Sandwich Meals with French Fries & a Dr Pepper!! 😂😂 the United States government is the world’s largest terrorist organization

I mean I'm not trying to make a profit, just recoup a bit since I can't go

I wanna buy phillies season tickets so bad. with partial plan C, I can go to every game except the 3 Fridays (which I can sell). And with that plan I get Pride Night! Averages to $34.50 a game over 16 games

😍🐾

is it cultural appropriation to wear a chain necklace with a padlock if I'm not wearing a cage or owned by anyone...

I always have aspirations of doing both, but after one there's rarely enough energy leftover for the other.

so in other words, get to crankin

I always imagine what it must be like for someone to see a Reposted cock Pic of mine and then they, presumably being horny wanting more, click on my profile only to find a wall of text. my rants, strange opinions, and boring life updates 💀 I don't post enough images

I'm like going to bed I promise

I wasnt drinking at all for most of last year, but then the election happened and I stopped caring lol. This year I'm doing Wet January to get it all out of my system then then going stone sober rest of the year. ideally...

I shouldn't have had that last beer

now that I think about it, who ARE you

actually idk what percent of the people who actually read these tweets know who I am IRL and know where I work.. I can think of like 5 mutals I run into at work sometimes but like...

is it B.D.E. or just plain ol gossip

I also wonder who goes around telling people I got a big dick! cuz randomly all the time people mention it LMAO. like it's all word of mouth because almost never in life do I talk abt how big I am... they just know already

I always wonder how many people I work with follow/stalk me on here but how much do I really care.

to be fair, I'm just as nosy. I get it!

working with 95% gayz is so messy.

back when I was on Twitter one of y'all showed my shit to my str8 manager and got me in trouble💀😭 had to go perma private.