Jay

Today, Satan

Everything about Apple is boring and Android is boring and ugly IMO, we desperately need another option. WP really took some swings, I wish they'd paid off.

Thanks! Square Home launcher is doing a lot of the heavy lifting : the live tiles actually work and flip around to show info!

Windows Phone style UI customization

Windows Phone style lock screen pic

Update to my attempt at resurrecting my beloved Windows Phone on Android. (Deleted older pics when I realized location was visible in the weather tile)

Square Home launcher with custom icons (mostly Flight Lite), Textra, and the WP sound files for alerts

Just seeing this screen makes me so happy!

Back with windows phone, we had a lock screen option that would show the a wallpaper matching the current weather and I always loved it

i like it when someone's got their phone hooked up to their car stereo and you can hear the call even when their windows are up. anyway this Mitsubishi suv guy has herpes

I need a bowling ball sized watermelon flavor Xanax that is mounted like a salt lick.

Rode 5.25 miles on the exercise bike. 20 minutes.

Come on brain... make some happy juices.

Once you download a launcher, go to "default apps" in settings, and choose it as your "home" app.

You're on Android? You need a launcher, which you can find on Google's app store. I'm using Square Home for this setup. Then I found an icon pack that was sort of similar to WP, & I use Textra already for messaging, which has a WP style customization option, & I have the WP sound files for alerts!

CO-WORKER: Notice anything different?

*stares at them for 8 straight hours*

ME: No.

Almost as gross as needlessly being a fuckin prick about someone being happy about something innocuous, huh?

Ok

I don't understand

American journalists definitely imagine themselves as these intrepid pursuers of truth, holding the world accountable with the power of well chosen words

Then in actuality, squirting out completely toothless little farts for Politico over and over again

[coming out of anesthesia] no put me back i long for the void

[putting spaghetti sauce in the soda stream] ok dinner's almost ready babe!

Trail mix, but it's ibuprofen and acetaminophen and tums.

The feeling in the air before a thunderstorm supplies me with endless dopamine

I wish my face wasn't all "Please come and talk to me, stranger".

pupperoni looks and smells suspiciously like a Slim Jim. i'm tempted to try one. a voice screams JESUS CHRIST, ME, YOU'RE A GROWN ASS WOMAN. of course I tell the voice to go fuck itself but frankly i'm just not hungry

She was rare, like an online art gallery that wasn’t full of the weirdest fetish shit you’ve ever seen

"if you know you know" is very offensive to someone like me, who doesn't know anything

[Forrest Gump Voice] ah may not be a SMART man but ah do know how to spend 10 sec-unds checking out the source and con-text of a provocative tweet, Jen-nay

A good thing to always keep in mind is that everyone is literally insane now.

Sorry I can't hang out tonight, I'm making my two Nicolas Cage pillows kiss.

aw crap i shouldnt be
allowed to have a phone

M.I.A. Paper Planes but the gunshots and cash register sounds are replaced with Slack notifications

You should be able to see who blocked you in that quote post.

You should know.