Dave Brockman 💙💛

Why the fuck are we getting involved in Trump and Netanyahu's bullshit war?

We've just dusted down the Wii Fit balance board for the first time in years, and it told me I'm obese.

Back in the box with you, cursed plastic step!

(Not that it's wrong, mind...)

If Jack can continue his form from the deciding frame of the semi, he's got this in the bag. That was some of the best snooker I've seen in years.

Sorry. Next time?

Yesterday I had leftover donuts, today I've been to Wetherspoons.

My balance may be a bit off.

My irony detector just blew a fuse.

Radar map of the UK showing heavy rain over much of Scotland, light rain across the southeast, and nothing elsewhere.

It appears to just be us. Everywhere in between is fine.

Travis have a lot to answer for.

That's why I got thrown out of Boux Avenue.

Apparently it's not "boo lingerie"

The world needs less Elons and more Dollys.

And I'm confident someone will comment "fewer" within the hour.

Happy March! 🗓️

Happy St David's Day, lovely of them to give me my own special day 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Happy meteorological Spring!🌷

I'm ignoring the news, about to head out for a big fat unhealthy breakfast with my boys, and trying to look on the bright side. Wish me luck.

An outline of a body is painted on the pavement with a big erect bollard in the genitalia area…

Grow up.
#WorldBollardAssociation

Round my way, any horse crap is swiftly collected by locals to use as fertiliser.

Negative: washing machine didn't drain and everything was soaked.

Positive: found £4.20 and €1 in the filter.

On balance, still not worth the faff of getting the filter out and dealing with the resulting waterfall. Impossible to catch it all ad the outlet is only a few mm from the floor.

And there are reports that the UK is supporting this with planes stationed nearby.

Sickening.

Oh it's just wah wah wah.

I think we need this today.

Exactly: it's not black or white.

@flups.bsky.social I'm going to be double busy today, so before I forget: have fun at the party and absolutely ROCK that dress!

I'm old enough to remember when Trump stated categorically that the USA had "obliterated" any threat from Iran.

And it's not as if he would have lied, or anything...

There is always a tweet.

This aged like Trump's hand.

Oh joy of joys, the dick-waving contest is back on 🤮

The Morecambe and Wise Show - Christmas Show 1971 The classic 1971 Christmas show, featuring the combined talents of Andre 'Preview' Previn, Glenda Jackson, Shirley Bassey, and not forgetting the immortal Eric and Ernie.

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/epis...

If you want some more Shirley Bassey, you could do worse than this classic sketch 34m51s into this link.

Oh, and immediately before it is the phenomenal Andrew Preview malarkey, with Grieg.

#TOTP #notTOTP

This is still one the highlights of my time on BlueSky: Bonnie Tyler herself re-posting my praise for her brilliant song!

#TOTP #notTOTP

It's one of those obscure laws they sometimes dredge up on QI: in seven US states it's actually illegal to hear this song without singing along at 100 decibels or higher.

This is a thirty-tonne monster of a banger.

Let's briefly gloss over the whole controlling murder thing and just enjoy the Boy Jones' ASTOUNDING voice

#TOTP #notTOTP

Fur-Q did it better.

#TOTP #notTOTP

Chronic Relief

Just for a brief moment, I thought that was Morecambe and Wise waiting to come on, but now I'm vaguely convinced it's the two old duffers from The Macarena video.

#TOTP #notTOTP