Patrick Hastie

As a way to prove they've listened and learned, the DNC has announced that Gavin Newsome's running mate in 2028 will be that ol' bat who runs the Libs of Tik Tok account.

Lou Holtz' death further highlights the overwhelming issue of inexperienced climbers overcrowding Mount Everest.

He committed seppuku. :)

BROOKLYN

ICE IN CLINTON HILL
NYPD ASSISTING

LET PEOPLE KNOW

Is there rec league bobsled?

Mmm, those royal genes!

Is the rise of pickle ball part of Project 2025?

Gimme a Call A Short Film

Excited to launch this Kickstarter to make my short film! It's titled "Gimme a Call" & you can learn all about it at this link, including how to donate and what rewards are up for grabs! I'm so pumped to get this thing made! Movies forever! @kickstarter.com www.kickstarter.com/projects/chr...

"It's amazing how deep inside the hole he can get and still bounce it outside." -Cris Collinsworth

Be careful, folks. There are a lot of Super Bowl commercials for AI going around.

Wow, you can't even tell which one is the new one!

Also, I have worms in my brain, I should let you know that. Not like the kind RFK JR had, regular old worms. Nightcrawlers.

We gotta get Draymond to the Suns. Dillon Brooks, Grayson Allen, and Draymond on the same team would be hilarious.

I truly believe it would not be hard to convince Trump supporters that dragons exist.

Dumb and Dumber was filmed at the same hotel as The Shining. So do you think that means Dumb and Dumber doesn't exist in The Shining universe? That would be a shame. I feel like Danny would really like it. Also, with no Dumb and Dumber, what becomes of Jim Carrey? I am sure he'd ok. He is so funny.

God forbid, but if she's cremated when she dies, then someone is going to have to "pour a urn of laura dern."

I worked at Pizza Hut in high school, and there was a rumor going around town that an employee had pissed on a P'Zone and served it to a customer. We had 2 meetings about it, and people cried at both. It was a huge scandal, but then 9/11 happened, and we all just kinda let it go.

I love going to the beach because whenever "nature calls," you can just walk into the water and jack your dick off.

Trump screaming as a little boy mows his yard.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SISTERS OR COUSINS YOU WANNA BRING OVER?

Never been a big haunted house guy, but one time I went to a haunted house with this girl and instead of going in we made out and dry humped in her sister's car, and it was a go-go-go-good ass time!

I could use some good vibes today! The gang I am in with the Joker is going to pull a textbook, "take-over" robbery of Gotham National Bank. We'll enter the lobby, subdue everyone inside, and get the money. Should be easy with no double crossings, but still. Prayers appreciated!

These two got the same fucking vibe.

Train by day, Joe Rogan by night.

Shrek and Donkey oral sex.

Democratic Leaders Say They Are Not Ruling Out Impeaching Jeffrey Epstein, However Their Focus Right Now Is A New Bill That Forces ICE Agents To Apologize After Assaulting Someone

Epstein sending Soon-Yi a link to the Uproxx article of Highest Paid Stand Up Comedians.

The president is a WHAT-ophile???

Soon-Yi and Epstein jokin' around about Cosby drugging women. I swear to God. Just search "comedian" in the Epstein files and you will find so many weird fucking things.

Birbigs catch strays.

Epstein and Birbiglia shared a urologist.

The dude from the Unoppressive Non-Imperliast Bargain Book store on Carmine Street is in the Epstein files because he sent Paul Krassner an email and Paul Krassner forwarded it to Epstein.

I searched "Iowa" in the Epstein files and learned there is a model in her 50s or 60s named Patricia Neville who seemingly spent a lot of time in Iowa emailing Jeffrey Epstein about how "they gotta get coffee".