Li0ness

People shocked to learn local man can walk and chew bubble gum at the same time, news at 11.

Dear neighbors that somehow still have a fireworks stash at the end of February: if you’re shooting something that big off at 10pm, you better be alerting me to news that will make me want to dance in the street. Otherwise save it for the next holiday.

don't look at me i once accidentally turned in an essay in college with "fuck i guess i have to write this now" as the opening sentence.

ohmygod FLAMOYED i love your brain

at least if it evolves into John Cena i can't see it, I guess :P

Manifesting that at least one of the two impossible things happens- voice acting, or the cute quadruped starter doesn’t get a humanoid freakshow final evolve. Hopefully both, for both of us.

oh fml

Eve: Should I eat this fruit even though God told us not to

Serpent: It isn't just a fruit — it's a future. You're determining your own path. You've got this!

Eve: God's really mad, I shouldn't have eaten it

Serpent: You're right! That one's on me. I'm only an AI model and can make mistakes,

not even a birds fan and also that was my first, second and fifth takeaway

I just explained step by step to someone how to check if two containers of different shapes were the same volume, and she went and did so, and they were, and she then came back to me and said, "well, I still think the tall one just holds more."

Ma'am. MA'AM.

Stop the world, I want to get off.

Oh. Well uh, now I know this too. Well shit.

being as we're doing breakfast theory/pancakes v waffles again, might one say that bsky has the syrup?

in any just society the first sentence of this article would be enough to get his kids taken away permanently

I mean, if Jim Cramer lives that long, the Anti-Cramer portfolio just might do it. 🤣

Hi Chris, Lioness here, Bluesky Free Press. Can you tell me in your opinion what will happen to investment accounts when a bubble, maybe, I don’t know, the AI one, pops? And would you, in fact, define it as “good?”

to be fair though there is SOMETHING he could do during the SOTU that would turn a lot of people's days around.

you know what would really turn my night around? if i got to pop the bottle of champagne that's been in my fridge since, oh, i don't know, november 2016

god i miss the For Shame tagger because i feel like this guy's followers would be an extremely valid tag

Yep that’s her. I’m still trying to dust off the lorcana knowledge in my brain from when I dabbled with playing in the first few sets. No idea what I’m gonna build but my husband is the rip all the packs type where I’m the “rip a few to see what’s out there then buy playsets of what I want” one.

Apparently my husband has decided Lorcana is a Thing We’re Doing Now and the spot UV treatment Angel showed up out of a trove for me tonight.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Absolute king shit, sir.

i know i should be beyond any capacity for surprise and disgust at this point and yet here i am, surprised and disgusted.

i hate that this is the circumstance but thank you for reminding me of such a beloved part of my childhood.

Students: If you don't want to be there, just quit. Why the fuck are you paying tuition if you're not going to learn shit? Quit your program and open up the space for someone who gives a fuck.

Yeah that’s definitely how that went.

I swear to god if Dweeb Spy Glasses are how we get candy shell colors back at Apple I’m going to riot.

Choices were made!

Jesus Christ I’d sue. I’m not sure for what standing but surely you could find some sort of false advertising ground for paying Ivy League tuition and getting… that.

… keurig? KEURIG?! Nuh uh. Nope.