Dea Detritus

a close up of a man 's face with his mouth open ALT: a close up of a man 's face with his mouth open

“Blood, cum, breast milk. It’s all the same in the end.

Humans are juice boxes…” - Me, unfortunately.

If they want to paint you as the villain, then pose.

Be a hot villain with a sexually coded theme song…

a woman is holding a cup of coffee and the words something to think about are above her Alt: a woman is holding a cup of coffee and the words something to think about are above her

But what if…

what you see as the big picture…

actually gets bigger?

What if…

Your perspective isn’t as trustworthy as you think?

Truths are never really as rigid as we think they are.

#ThoughtJournal

crazy how everything i want always falls right into my lap

Bluesky has sent me on an apology tour to people I used to talk theology with because it’s excruciating to remember that I once came across so immature & felt superior about it.

But I truly didn’t understand what I didn’t understand.

Now I do.

And I was wrong.

#ThoughtJournal

Is it easy??

No.

Not as easy as it would be to hand responsibility for yourself off to the government, because that’s what you were told that was best for you…

But that’s what delivered you here.

To this point.

You can be pissed, but the only way through is to empower yourself.

FIN. 🧵

There are valuable resources out there all over the place… completely free.

There is almost always a skill you can learn to solve your problems.

We have never had more access to information. 🧵

And eventually, when you realize that help REALLY isn’t coming…

That the system and the people around you are not willing or able to help you through whatever it is you’re going through…

You just have to decide there is another way, even if you don’t know what that looks like yet. 🧵

It makes sense to me that people are angry about necessary systems not being even remotely adequate.

And to the people who are only becoming truly conscious to that now, I empathize.

But many people those systems failed have been failing them for… ever.

Myself included. 🧵

#ThoughtJournal

a man sitting in front of a roosevelt hotel sign with his hands in the air ALT: a man sitting in front of a roosevelt hotel sign with his hands in the air

Me watching tried and true enablers get railroaded by the dumbest “logic” I’ve ever heard because WHAT DO YOU EVEN SAY TO THAT?!

(Spoiler: The answer is “no.” And then, “fuck no.” And then you eat them.)

a man in a police uniform is talking to another man and says " it 's a lot " ALT: a man in a police uniform is talking to another man and says " it 's a lot "

Having a dummy thicc Capricorn stellium means that no matter how unhinged the rest of your chart is, there will always be a Captain Holt archetype that lives within you. 😂

#Astrology #Capricorn

a human size one of those heated rocks for lizards would fix me

“Well, THAT’s more than just a couple of cannolis…”

Is a thing I’m kind of doubting is an actual expression, but my brain is spitting it out on repeat. 🤷🏼‍♀️ 😂

It’s an interesting new perspective to chew on, at least.

FIN. 🧵

She just really didn’t want to be poor.

She wanted to have a lot of money and be someone important.

She wanted all of us to have a lot of money and be important people.

And that’s not objectively terrible…

It’s just the things she did to get them… 🧵

I suuuuuper did not understand that she was trying to create and pass on some kind of legacy.

I just thought she was trying to give us a nice life, because that was an alternative that I could believe for the way she behaved. 🧵

That I didn’t have what it took.
I’d blown my chance at being great.

I just thought she meant that in general, I could not do it.

What she ACTUALLY meant was that she was not going to invest in my future the same way anymore if I was not going to play be her rules. 🧵

But she had no ability to control herself enough to be patient with my process, and so she just pummeled me.

The story was that I was “retarded,” and all your standard undiagnosed neurodivergent complaints that existed in the 90s and 2000s. 🧵

Before the sex trafficking it seems (in hindsight) that she had some kind of fantasy about me being some kind of child star.

I was always a performer, very magnetic.

I sucked at doing things the “right way,” but I was incredible at doing them the “wrong,” way. 🧵

To be clear: that was maybe a part of it…

But it was probably more about her designer show habit… 😂

But that’s how she sold me on it.

We were doing it for him.
Because he could get out of “this shit hole.”

(We had a super nice house. It was her dream house at one point. Idk, man. 😂) 🧵

After I processed the ramble about my brother, all of which was intuitive writing…

I got a download that had a memory of my mother and I talking about why I had to do “what I was supposed to do.”

And it was hyped up for my brother. So he could go to a special school. 🧵

I don’t ever want to go to bat for them, nor would I think my memories are reliable enough to create any kind of fair truth.

And that’s just knowing how flexible the truth really is.

It’s just not worth it to me.

Anyway! 🧵

Supplementary download:

In the flashbacks I have from being sex trafficked, I seemed conscious/compliant.

My perspective, speaking for me only, is that I would not trust my memories to be accurate. 🧵

YouTube video by LudacrisVEVO Ludacris - Ho

Songs that I lovingly sing to my dog:

“Hey, ho!

How ya doing, where ya been?!

Prolly doin’ ho stuff cause there you ho again!”

#MusicSky

"I'm going to use your bathroom for the tub, okay?" - Roommate

"Bruh, it's like, the third time you asked. 𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘵." - Me

"I DON'T KNOW. It could be National Deep Clean Your Vibrators Day. I don't know if it's okay!" - RM

"... my calendar just said Diwali..."

💀

I do this with the phrase, "but hey, that's life in the jungle..." 😂

🥹🫶

Thank you!

I'm still feeling out how they're going to work together... its a very yin and yang thing, I think... but it's hard to tell which is which sometimes. ☯️😂

It is up to YOU to become a fully developed human.

Heal yourself.

Harvest your power.

Learn how to hold it.

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵.

FIN. 🧵

But friends—

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜-𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥.

People skilled in emotional regulation and/or supression that surpass yours ARE NOT playing by the same rules as you.

They don't have to.

And they never will. 🧵