Jacleen idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

Rabbit Rabbit

I would make an absolutely fantastic melancholic Victorian woman in an old English manor house and this is why I am not thriving in this modern era.

Getting older is weird because I’m a year away from needing my first mammogram but also in my mind I’m still the 13 year old girl pressing the play and record button on my cassette player to tape the 9 most wanted at 9 on B96.

If buying and enjoying the weird snacks from Homegoods and TJ Maxx are wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

Rabbit Rabbit

A stinky baby sunning herself. Blissfully unaware that today is bath day.

Chicago influencers are wild because it’s like the worst person you know in high school in Naperville is now sharing their favorite restaurants in the Logan Square and want you to take them seriously

Apparently we are now estranged

They always say that it’s good to let your loved ones know your final wishes for after you’ve died, but when you say that you want everyone to empty a pistol into your casket to make sure you’re dead and then explode it on a land mine while the song, “Paper Planes” by MIA plays they get all upset???

Looking back, my childhood dream of me becoming a wealthy millionaire recluse with a huge collection of Madame Alexander dolls probably should have been a red flag for my mother?

Babygirl your soulmate is not the man buying scratch offs at the gas station every day.

Rabbit Rabbit

The vibes are literally so hostile and violent when I have to take my phone off of do not disturb.

Today would have been your 39th birthday. I would have sent you some silly pics via text and if I was lucky enough, you would have attended my sister’s wedding in Greece this past Saturday and we would have done something witchy together to celebrate the summer solstice. I hope to see you again.

Watching a Recess Therapy video just reminded me of how my teacher put on the OJ Simpson trial to watch in class in the THIRD GRADE.

Lady did not want to miss a moment of the action while she was at work I guess.

What’s one piece of media that has bothered you for years? Mine is the cat subplot in Mindhunter.

Me: Luna! Are you ready for your first time on a plane, my sweet puppy!
My dog: severe ear infection two days before the flught.

The universe is laughing at me.

At least you used to get a pizza party when morale was low in the corporate world. Now you get a mandatory meeting on managing stress during your lunch hour.

Rabbit Rabbit

Oh to go back to the 2007 version of me where I was insufferable and listened to a lot of Rilo Kiley and Camera Obscura

two men are sitting on a couch with the words i 'm a thousand years old all of a sudden ALT: two men are sitting on a couch with the words i 'm a thousand years old all of a sudden

So I just saw that George Wendt who played Norm on Cheers died and my gen z coworker thought I was talking about the Netflix show Cheer

Why were the perverts only allowed to name birds? I feel like there were some really good missed opportunities here.

United Health one year stock graph. Ups and down. Followed by a steep line down. Current price 290.18. down 224.40 (43.61%) in the last year.

Here have some serotonin

Fun fact: Haus labs foundation is pretty much the same formula as the Armani Forever Glow foundation with fuller coverage and costs about $20 less.

It’s not about supplies, it’s about people forgetting how to act in public and how a grocery stores work

One thing about me is that when I shop at Trader Joe’s, everyone else in the store at the same time as me is my enemy.

Honestly haven’t seen so many Chicagoans be as united and hyped up like this since the Cubs won the World Series. I think now is the perfect time to enact a military invasion of Wisconsin.

Being from Chicago trumps being American. This is the Chicago pope. I consider the matter settled.

The first edict from the Chicago born pope is banning ketchup on hot dogs in the Vatican.

I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but the orcas now have two F/A-18 Hornets