Alan Kelly

They’re just jealous that the new president already has a railway station named after her

Sounds more like Pepsi than turkey

(In a famous slogan lost in translation episode the drink’s “come alive” message informed startled Chinese customers that it would bring their ancestors back from the dead)

The adventures of Sir Liesalot

a man says it 's beautiful in front of a group of soldiers ALT: a man says it 's beautiful in front of a group of soldiers

Everyone ranking their Star Wars movies tonight and I really struggle to do this as on different days the order could be very different except for the top spot

That would be quite the feet alright

They’re Caracas if they do

Screaming the quiet part out loud while giggling maniacally

Exactly!

Concepts of a plan perhaps

The healthcare proposal that promotes neither health nor care, and shows they don’t care about health

There’s only one space cadet in that interaction and it’s not the one who has actually been in space

He thinks an LLM means a postgraduate degree in Law

The e-magic roundabout!

This tweet of mine started the biggest row I was ever in on Twitter. FWIW I don’t believe paying reviewers will fix it

a man with a beard and a crown says there 's always one isn 't there . ALT: a man with a beard and a crown says there 's always one isn 't there .

Ah no!! I only skimmed but that means bin the whole list.

Let alone Spinal Tap and did I miss Airplane?

Fargo is a brilliant movie but surely not one of the ten funniest ever.

He’d never retreat from Moscow

Would have saved the Titanic

a monkey is sitting on a couch with the words `` please do n't forget about us '' . ALT: a monkey is sitting on a couch with the words `` please do n't forget about us '' .

Drummers be like

I always get a kick out of the fact that my most cited research paper was not based on funded research, was mainly undertaken by visiting French undergraduate placement students, and was much mocked on Twitter at the time

How much damage did this unregulated arrogant bunch of unqualified yahoos do to America and the world? How many people suffered and died because of them?

Me: ow

Paging @niecyokeeffe.bsky.social - this is your perfect time to just finally move here

@dadsaysjokes.com might be interested

A scientific study of dad jokes has found that dads who love pets are most likely to find them funny.

As they say, I feel seen.

Then: Leo Sayer
Now: Leo Singer