grawlix

10 out of 10 pieces of furniture prefer your little toe.

YouTube video by TheOldrecordclub Petula Clark ~ Downtown (1964)

Where I'm headed rn

but your honor, i was only being facetious

Emergency workers attend to passengers of a car that's been hit by a bus in an urban street. The bus seems undamaged, and its electronic destination board displays a cheery "Have a nice day". (Pic taken in a New York town several years ago. Buses regularly display inane messages like this when they're parked for a bit.)

Every corporate email

in french they call drinking water "the little drowning"

a quick guide for how to recline the passenger seat back in your friend's vehicle:

step 1. pull the handle
step 2. not that handle the other one

in the public bathroom, you do not wash your hands because you are an unhygenic sociopath, I do not wash my hands because all I did in the stall was rip my vape, we are not the same

that's what alt accounts are for

snowflakes are really out there putting the "tickles" in "particles"

what's the subtext of all this subtext

I'm on a beach. on a beach thinking about how funny it would be to fly drone here and cartoonily knock over lighthearted beachgoers while they pass a frisbee

I don't know why I am like this that's a different conversation

a drone flight simulator but with the whimsy of Goat Simulator, such that you can slam into NPC pedestrians damage property, and generally cause chaos with your lil robot hummingbird

a web service to make this info much more publicly accessible in real time could be a really powerful tool

is that feasible?

Adult life is just an endless cycle of finding a thing that works well, having that thing be discontinued, then searching fruitlessly for a replacement

poetry becomes a lot easier when you accept that all the conventions are just classic memes

Announcer: this program is intended for mature audiences

Me: *waving my bubble wand* well, I'm out

my role in the friend group is "exposure to liability"

I've been getting really into having moments recently

I'm having a moment where I'm realizing how many moments I've been having

small thing but i did notice and appreciate that Mamdani thanked his "incredible wife" instead of his "beautiful wife" even though she is obviously a straight up baddie

typos are just lil guys and we love lil guys, we gotta protecc em they just need love

A drawing of three states of matter in glass beakers

thank you for your attention to this matter

thi i eraure

french fries are literally made for stealing, property is theft

real and based

If you have a regional accent, please never try to get rid of it. Accents tell stories.

[Jello Biafara voice] I'm just CHILLIN in CEDAR RAPIIIIDS

Totoro in Paris Street: Rainy Day by Gustave Caillebotte.

famous artwork but with a twist: thread

I don't 'drill down' or 'circle back' I mostly just circle down