dr. bitchcraft

i worry that i fucked it up

i wasn’t raised catholic but i have catholic levels of guilt

does the guilt ever go away

idk man. i’m still wary because we haven’t Talked but i’m hopeful. i’m cautiously hopeful

she seems a lot more stable and owned up to some really shitty stuff she did to her spouse? and this is new

got lunch alone with a and we talked a lot at lunch and then spent like three hours talking in her car and it was nice. normal?

kms fr

i want to die tbh

i’m tired of being sick and exhausted all the time

i’m exhausted

i feel like i’m going to be sick

am i going to cry????? fucking maybe!!!!!!

a’s in haines junction and should be here tomorrow and i feel like i’m about to have a panic attack

i feel like i’m going crazy

told my mom about how sexually forward a’s been and how uncomfortable it’s made me and i didn’t do shit about it

my mother just told me some fuckign brutal family news and a’s started her roadtrip up here

feeling very thinned out

this exhaustion is starting to get to me

told my therapist about some of the weirdly sexual stuff my stepdad’s done around me and my siblings and got really anxious and teary

this month has been ass and black bear’s birthday is this thursday

idk man it’s hard to like want to go to work when my boss is actively making my job harder to do

keep leaving work feeling really defeated

done

to speak my truth

thinking of making a dedicated nsfw account to talk about my perversions in peace

gonna crash out maybe

hopefully by father’s day next year, i won’t be in his house anymore and won’t have to do this fucking charade ever again

lol. lmao, even

fuck off man i hate you i hope your heart explodes

but my idiot stepdad said to me today, “she didn’t go last year?” and i said no and has not bite my tongue to not tell him that she didn’t go because i was either going to kill myself or him and it was because of him