jae

been getting lost in my maladaptive daydreams lately bc mental illness and i think i might start an obiwan fanfic now…

rewatching sherlock and from the first ep alone it’s so palpable that they intended this show to have a male-dominated audience. i think one ep is enough for me,,,personally if i wanted to watch the ‘misunderstood genius police consultant’ trope i’d rather go watch psych

as much as i don’t like my mom, it’s so obvious how much she’s loved by the rest of our family regardless in a way i’ll never comprehend

everyone’s so busy either forgetting it happened or are so scared to trigger me that they pretend it never happened in the first place. losing my sister really was a harsh way of showing me how minuscule my support system is.

ONE person has told me “i know how hard the holidays will be for you. i hope you know i’m here” and i barely know her !

i know the world doesn’t revolve around me blah blah…but it’s a bit heartbreaking how apathetic everyone is to my grief. how my friends who i talk to almost everyday haven’t asked me how i am since the day i got the call. how my partner assumes i’m just somehow okay bc i don’t talk about it first.

highway robbery for new machines that are the same if not smaller in capacity size 🫠

my apartment building just DOUBLED the prices for the laundry machines 💀 $3 per load for just the washer is heinous work AND i can’t even use it without my partner’s phone because they switched from a physical card to an app wHICH I HAVE NO SIGNAL OR WIFI TO USE IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM ON MY OWN

help that embarrassed me sm 💀💀

competitive ow2 is so anticlimactic LMAO just watching the fuckass payload slowly finish while the entire defence team is just waiting to respawn 💀

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ALSO AS SOON AS I GET MY FIRST PAYCHECK IM PROBABLY INVESTING IT INTO POTTERY CLASSES?? YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME THAT I AM DOING NOTHING

the people whose only hobby is like,,,playing video games,,, say this shit all the time too like girl bffr 🫵🏼 YOU GET A HOBBY 🫵🏼 GO TOUCH SOME GRASS FIND SOMETHING EXCITING OUTSIDE A MONITOR 🫵🏼

why do people keep saying i dont have “enough” hobbies just bc i have SOME time to rot on the couch bc of SAD?? i go dance at least once a week, i play video games, read, learn languages, i’m literally thinking about taking up bouldering more often… AND IM SUPPOSED TO DO MORE?? HUH HELLO

it really be double the joy, double the sorrow bc no one wants to take any of my burdens LOL all they do is pile on top of it

i miss cable tv

and ofc she’s not taking responsibility for it. it’s MY fault that one SINGLE can of food - that we don’t use anymore bc it still made his levels high - is still laying around somewhere. even though we literally have DOZENS of another type on hand rn bc that’s what the vet prescribed.

first night of my mom catsitting again (she wasnt even supposed to visit last night but she intruded anyways) and she already fucked it up and gave him the wrong food i’m about to lose my fucking mind

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literally missing every pre-planned meeting/zoom bc i just have no sense of the world anymore 🫠

yall my mental health NOT in a good place lmao

also just found out that during my mom’s 4-day catsitting stint with my cat she gave him the wrong dosage of heart meds even though (1) i showed her to her face what to do (2) wrote it down on a piece of paper and stuck it to my fridge AND (3) it’s on the prescription bottle 🤡

also crazy how i switched from twitter to bsky and there’s about a 7+ year difference from when i was truly active and i’m really Still just complaining about how my mom consistently makes my life harder

i LOVE how my mom doesn’t tell me she’s sick until after i’ve been trapped in the car with her for 30+ minutes even after knowing i JUST recovered from a THREE WEEK cough bc my immune system is ass

truly no way anyone else can disappoint me more than my mom does holy fuck

just wondering when the people in my life will ask how i’ve been doing in regards to my sister’s death or if they’re all just going to carry on letting me bear w it alone lol

the way vcttwt was acting i thought s0m was boaster’s age,,,HE’S ONLY LIKE 23

omfg

odin will be the mvp of this tournament