Balefire

Me

Everyone writing music:
“Lets make a really catchy chorus”

Balefire wizards:
“Make them eat Arby’s on stage. That makes the song better!”

But what about the skooma?

Does the skeleton plug still got our hookup?

We can get a supply. We know some milk goblins who don’t ask questions.

In Kansas City to meet the BBQmancer Pork Chop Cash.

They put the Plateau of Leng in the new Donkey Kong?! DID JEREMY LEAVE OUT THE FORBIDDEN SCROLLS AGAIN!? HE KNOWS NINTENDO ALWAYS TRIES TO READ THEM?!

We’ve been traveling the multiverse for untold eons, seeing things no mortal men can gaze upon without going mad.

Do yall still have Olive Garden around?

He’s old. It’s chill. We won’t say anything.

The ears provided are property of the goldsun spire elves™️ they are temporary until you pass the trails then the wizard (Carl) will give a spell to transform you into one of the elves. These are the rules kid.

Just dont be late to condescending 101 or you’re gonna have detention.

The other day I was at a pawn shop and saw a sword with a skull on it. Clearly cursed. I was told know by the big boss….. 😔

Predator……we hardly know her.

@catfort.fightins.online WHY WERENT YOU AT ELF PRACTICE?!

It’s actually 97 guys vs the gorilla and me, we switched sides.

Great, now the barbarian thinks he can write riffs…….

Bardbarian?….is that anything?

The wizard wrote a chord progression in 6/8 + 1/2 then 4/4

……….do we need to give this dork a wedgie?

What do you guys think the favor CM Punk is owed?…..

What?….wizards can watch wresting too ya know…

We’ll see if we can bring him back as some sort of golem, construct, or wraith maybe. Idk when the lights go out, the wizards be……..out……

That’s why we get our beard balms from the gnomes down by the docks. They make some good shit we just don’t ask questions.

His gun just has a bang flag in it.

Hmmmm that makes sense. We’ll have to go talk to the Handjob council to see what the proper protocol is.

I don’t make the rules. I’m just a wizard.

Now you need to find them. And give THEM one to make it equal out.

How dare you….

ISO a wrestling title belt that’s got cool wizards and like…a bone car on it. And it’s got a draw with skimpy armor and she’s like “yeah I like this. And you do too” kinda attitude but still demure about it. But we all know what’s up.

What if it just gave you like one really sexy leg and that’s all it did?

Sometimes this wizard makes a good joke.

Do you think if we constructed some sort of archway we could find the trans dimension aka 4th dimension aka way better Six flags ?

Tried to cast Chapel Roan but mispronounced it as Chapel Rune—now the whole sanctuary is glowing pink, and everyone’s crying on the dance floor. Magic is unpredictable, but at least the vibes are fucking immaculate.✨