Substantia Jones (she/her)

Dear Danes, Greenlanders, and the Kalaallit.

I love you. And I thank you. As do the overwhelming majority of us. And to those protesting there right now, well, Mommy of course loves all her Nordics equally… but [spoken with a whisper] I love you a smidge more.

#NoWords
#IAlsoLoveYourPastries

Avoid if you’re at greater risk than we all are, but otherwise whistle up in Harlem, Folks.

YouTube video by Emotional Support European A Letter to America

This is what an inspiring number of Europeans think of us. From Emotional Support European @JanBirkmann

“Never again is now.”

youtu.be/Q-Z6M-LDXWg?...

Our momses would ask if you’d also follow them off the end of a pier.

And rightwing press is on the team. As I occasionally do in times like this, I just checked out FOX News to see how they were covering it. They weren’t. They were laughing, complaining about how warm it was in the studio, and showing a photo of a cute dog in the snow. Y’know. Journalistic integrity.

"Attack, attack, attack," "Admit nothing, deny everything," and "Always claim victory.”

It’s as if Trump’s mentor Roy Cohn, the pre-Stephen Miller, is still alive and running this country’s dark underbelly.

“Don't tell me what the law is, tell me who the judge is.”

#EverythingMustGo

@samsteindc.bsky.social of @thebulwark.com obtained the original tantrum-stained letter from Trump to Norwegian Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Stoere. No mention of the President being rubber whilst the Prime Minister is quite possibly glue.

The new US! Now commodifying peace. And everything’s 30% off!

The US is not your blood bag, Mr. President. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

#MadMaxRefFTW
#toddler
#grifter
#AGullibleWhoReliesOnTheGullibilityOfOtherGullibles
#TodaysNorwayTantrumTestedTheBoundsOfAreYouFuckingKiddingMe
#ItWasFunnyAsHellThough
#IMissTwitter
#IceOutForGood

Thank you, Krystal.

Finally, after 3 hours 47 min, they answered. With a click.

#Walgreens
#HadTimeToMakeAnExtremeDrumNBassRemixOfTheirHoldMusic
#WalgreensAndDrumNBassDeserveEachOther

UN! Where are you?! We desperately need your help!

#Minneapolis
#ICE

“Completely immune”

70% earnest question. When will someone do the same for us? The UN, Red Cross, Animal Control, anybody. Come round them up and cart them off. Just look behind any microphone, and there’s a good-sized wad of ‘em right there.

And do we have a body count yet?

#WarForOil

And Mr Hegseth, is that mascara in your pocket or are you just happy to see the hills of Caracas ablaze?

#Venezuela
#Maduro
#WouldHegsethsChubLikeToMakeAStatement

How far we have fallen that our US Attorney General doesn’t know US law. That the head of the Dept of Justice doesn’t know the definition of justice.

Also? Still not distracted. Pass it on.

#Venezuela
#Maduro
#Bondi
#DeadlyIgnorance

“They will face the full wrath of American justice.” Ms Bondi, kindly tell us (Americans) where in American law texts we’ll find mention of wrath being an element of prosecution. Or any mention of wrath at all, full or otherwise.

…medallion around their neck today. Today being 2025, by the way.

Even with full-out, unrepentant murder, he can’t fully distract us from his Epsteinery. So he rewards it? Tries to normalize it? Way to go, Mr. President. Brimming with grace and honor, you are.

#FuckYouTooFifa

New #KennedyCenter Honorees #Kiss wrote and recorded a song expressing compulsive lust for an underage girl. From spotting her in her schoolyard, to victimization. There were other such songs in the ‘70s, but I don’t know any other purveyors of pedo who’re wearing a fresh, Presidentially anointed…

At least we got the best possible photos of the hallowed event. Personal fave is the one of him pushing his orange noggin through the thing… himself. Pretty sure he’s asleep. I halfway wanna have it printed onto a commemorative plate. Adorned with loads of “gold” and shamelessness.

If you see a woman in the airport or on your plane in the next few days wearing a shimmery evening gown with two seats worth of taffeta, possibly a bustle or maybe just a world class badonk, opera-length gloves peppered with diamonds you may recognize from the Louvre (shhh), glass slippers yoinked….

Should be fun. But… glass slippers aren’t uncomfortable, right?

….from that bitch Cinderella, earrings that come with their own security team, and a tiara high enough to jolly well violate a couplefew aviation regulations…please stop me and say hi.

#DressingForDuffy
#EverybodyDoItComeOnPleaseWhyNot
#SeanDuffy
#DudeAintLivinInTheRealWorld
#GetIt?
#GetIt?

If you see a woman in the airport or on your plane in the next few days wearing a shimmery evening gown with two seats worth of taffeta, possibly a bustle or maybe just a world class badonk, opera-length gloves peppered with diamonds you may recognize from the Louvre (shhh), glass slippers yoinked….

And hey, Mr. Speaker, masturbators are smarter, funnier, better on cross-country road trips, and all-around finer human beings. Just a suggestion.

#ItsScienceMan

And stop co-opting the word ‘victim’ to soften the crimes of pedophiles, Presidential or otherwise. A real dick move, that. Wondering what a post-Trump world will look like: THIS GUY.

Thanks to #TheLincolnProject for the shot.

#MikeJohnson
#Satan
#SittinInATree

Speaker Mike Johnson’s “now hold on there” list of the “Dangers of the discharge petition” includes: “2. Innocent Persons: Risks disclosure of non-credible allegations, creating new victims.”

Wondering why the GOP is finally halting the #Epstein coverup? It’s because they ain’t. See #WeakerJohnson’s 2nd point/excuse for files fuckery. So who gets to decide which accusations are credible and which are to be redacted into oblivion? Y’know. The way perhaps an actual investigation might’ve?

@amyleechen.bsky.social and I had lunch today in an A-Ha video.

#Shirokuro
#2DRestaurant
#EastVillage
#TakeOnMe

Maybe y’all can open for my band, The Fuck Knuckles. (Working title.)

Dems (and better) swept yesterday, and today it’s announced #ColeEscola is writing a #MissPiggy movie. I think this weird thing I’m feeling is hope. Or gas.

…And though I usually get on well with folks who have pierced nipples, that #Cuomo is big creepy, yes? VOTE, guhdammit!

#VOTE
#ZohranForNYC