Jacob Edwards

Good stuff! I particularly like 'Made For Me'. (I'm a sucker for rock/blues rhythm, but that wouldn't be out of place from any headline act.)

I have a vision of the seven dwarfs in centurion breastplates and helmets, waving bloody swords and chanting, "Palatine, Capitoline, Aventine, Esquiline, Quirinal, Caelian, Viminal..."

Alternatively, full of evil + hammy intentions. It's all mood-dependent.

Futuristic Graeme (with Spock ears) and Tim; Bill with their skeletal remains.

Happy 50th anniversary to ‘The End’, a masterclass in ingenuity and as fine a vintage of bottle episode as one could hope for! #Goodies50 #SuperChapsThree #TheEnd

That’s 49 episodes down in my Goodies retrospective: www.jacobedwards.id.au/49-the-end/

Next up: The Goodies Rule – O.K.?

Picture: The Goodies’ office is now totally devoid of furniture, save one chair. Graeme and Tim, old and decrepit, stand to either side of this. Dialogue from the episode: Tim: I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with... ‘c’. Graeme: Chair. Tim: Well done. Graeme: I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with ‘c’. Tim: Chair. Graeme: Correct. Tim: I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with, um, oh, beginning with, um, oh! ‘c’. Graeme: Um... Chair? Tim: Ah! Absolutely correct. Graeme: Really? Shot in the dark, you know. Tim: What’s the score? Graeme: The score is— let me take a look here... dead level. Tim: Oh, my word. It is exciting, isn’t it?

In a Goodies bottle episode, less is more! #Goodies50 #ISpy

Pictures: Graeme and Tim, wearing chefs’ hats and aprons, appear to have second thoughts about cooking Bill... Dialogue from the episode: Graeme: Tim. Tim, come here. I mean, how are we going to cook poor little Bill? Tim: Yes, I know. Graeme: Do you want him boiled, roast, fried, stewed...? Tim: Really, Graeme! ... Fried, of course.

As dire as their situation is, Graeme and Tim appear to have second thoughts about eating Bill... but only for so long as to set up an expectation gag! #Goodies50

Pictures: Bill in his purple Goodies shirt; Tim in his Union Jack waistcoat, each mocking the other’s name. Dialogue from the episode: Tim: All my life I’ve dreamt of having a son to carry on the name of Brooke-Taylor! Bill: Who the hell would want to carry on a name like Brooke-Taylor? Tim: Well, it’s not as silly as Oddie. Odd/ee. Bill’Oddie. B’loddie stupid! Graeme: Ha-ha! Tim: Bill’Oddie stupid!!

It’s so endearing that the Goodies not only played themselves but took such delight in self-mockery! #Goodies

Pictures: Tim starts the gramophone player; Bill smashes his record; Tim points accusingly. Dialogue from the episode: Graeme: Here’s my solution: Tim, you can be a lord... but you’ve got to clean the shoes. Bill: Ahh! Tim: Oh, all right. I suppose we all have to strive together to create a new society. [Starts gramophone for patriotic speech.] We shall build a fine— Bill: [Smashes record] Tim: You! What’d you do that for?! Bill: Silent revolution, m’lord Timbo!

A scene whose failed record-smashing made the BBC bloopers reel... #Goodies50 #SilentRevolution

Pictures: Corbet Woodall as the on-screen newsreader, dressed firstly in his usual suit, then in more shabby clothing. Graeme’s arm reaches across to mute the TV. Dialogue from the episode: Corbet: In the light of the increasing poverty of the nation, the government have decided that work on the new Brighton to Birkenhead Freeway will be suspended indefinitely. Bill: What?! Oh, blimey. Operator! Corbet: News is just coming in— Bill: Operator? Give me the Ministry of Works. Operator, please. Please!

Such attention to detail! Corbet Woodall again plays the on-screen newsreader: originally in suit and tie; in a later broadcast wearing more shabby attire (reflecting the ‘increasing poverty of the nation’!). As Graeme mutes the TV, he breaks off and waits to be unmuted! #Goodies50 #CorbetWoodall

Pictures: Tim dictates to Graeme; Graeme grimaces and scribbles out an error. Monologue from the episode: Tim: Take a letter, would you, Graeme? ‘Dear Liz. No, um, no. No. Elizabeth. No. Ma’am. Um, Mrs Ma’am. No, um... O Queen! I wish to complain about the wicked plans of Mr Harry Highrise and his evil, so-called architect Mr, um, what’s his name? Mr Graeme Garden. Mr Graeme Garden. That’s G-R-A-E-M-E.’

Quintessential Goodies: Graeme misspells his own name when taking dictation, and has to scratch it out...! #Goodies

Pictures: Graeme and Bill stand beside Graeme’s scale model of the Kew Gardens redevelopment scheme (lots of blocks of concrete!); Graeme points to his own brain. Dialogue from the episode: Bill: What is that? Graeme: That is a 350-foot high block of offices. Bill: Oh yeah? Looks more like a 350-foot high block of concrete. Graeme: Exactly. Bill: Yes, but Graeme, you see: as an architect, I would have thought you’d have spotted this. Haven’t you noticed? No windows, no doors, eh? Graeme: That’s the whole point, you fool. Look, do you realise the rent on that place is going to be £4,000 pounds per square foot... and that’s per minute. Bill: Nobody can afford that, can they? Graeme: Well of course they can’t! So there’s no point wasting money putting doors and windows in, is there? Dear me. As a matter of fact, there’s no rooms in their either. That’s so the squatters can’t move in. I’ve thought of everything.

Bonkers though it sounds, Graeme’s scheme for Kew Gardens is in fact a dig at Harry Hyams (‘Harry Highrise’) and his infamous Centre Point development. #Goodies50 #HarryHyams #CentrePoint

The Goodies prepare to meet the queen: Bill wears a paper pirate’s hat, Tim a flower-pot, a wet shirt and Union Jack boxer shorts; Graeme a blindfold (expecting to be beheaded!).

50 years ago today, Graeme’s ill-considered redevelopment scheme saw the Goodies’ office encased in a 350-foot high block of concrete. Tonight, I shall chalk tally marks upon the wall and revisit this most aptly named season-ender... #Goodies50 #SuperChapsThree #TheEnd

A wooden sign proclaiming: GOODIES CREAM MINE, KEEP OUT! Tim and Bill, standing beside their tent, confront Graeme on his mule.

Happy 50th anniversary to ‘Bunfight at the O.K. Tea Rooms’, a masterpiece of Goodies-style mishap and mayhem. #Goodies50 #SuperChapsThree

That’s 48 episodes down in my Goodies retrospective: www.jacobedwards.id.au/48-bunfight-...

Next week: The End!

The Goodies playing poker, using toast for cards and gingernuts for chips.

In a winner-takes-all poker game with cream, jam and scones on the line, naturally the Super Chaps use toast for cards and gingernuts for chips! #Goodies50

As described.

Classic silent comedy! To the accompaniment of “Oh! Susanna”, Bill orders two cups of tea. The waitress (Sarah May), mistaking his gesture, responds with one of her own before sliding the two cups to their doom... prompting Bill to give her the ‘v’ in earnest! #Goodies50

The red donkey from ‘Rome Antics’, plus four pictures of the ‘Bunfight’ donkey being enticed, dumped, carried, and fallen off of.

Having debuted as an extra in ‘Rome Antics’, the donkey is invited back as a genuine guest star... even duetting with Graeme on one of his pratfalls! #Goodies50

Pictures: Tim and Bill converse with a dummy of Graeme—consisting of a pillow, coat, gold-panning tin, mop head, two cups and a banana. Dialogue from the episode: Bill: What a rotten night, eh? Didn’t sleep a wink, you know. Tim: Neither did I. Still, it was worth it, eh, Graeme? Yeah, not surprised you’ve got nothing to say for yourself. You ought to be ashamed, you. Bill: Yeah, should be ashamed of yourself, Graeme, you should. Tim: You see, he’s never at his best first thing. Bill: Well, he’s got to wake up, hasn’t he, ‘cause we’ve all got to go into town and file the claim, make the money, and— oi, Graeme. Come on, wake up. Why have you got a mop on your— Graeme? Oi! That’s not Graeme! Tim: Who is it, then? Bill: Don’t know. Who are you? Tim: Hey, we’ve been duped!

This isn’t the first, and it won’t be the last time the Goodies’ casual disregard for each other allows for an unlikely substitution! #Goodies50

Bill and Tim hard at work mining cream; Graeme in rocking chair, powering the Old West Rube Goldberg Machine; a lettuce-induced tortoise pulling cups of cream!

Graeme’s rocking chair–powered Old West Rube Goldberg machine takes cream mining to new, farcical heights! #Goodies50 #RubeGoldberg

Picture: Graeme empties a bag full of old tins over Tim. Dialogue from the episode: Tim: Oh, you’re not still looking, are you? You’re loony. There’s no gold here. Graeme: No gold? Out here? In the wild and woolly west? Bill: Graeme, we are in Cornwall. Graeme: Yeah, well, I know we’re in Cornwall. But I’ve been out looking around, and you’ll never guess what I’ve just found in an old tin mine. Tim: Gold? Graeme: No. Old tins... and this. Tim: What? Graeme: Gold ore. Tim: Ore? Graeme: Or something else.

As ever, the lads segue deftly from the plausible to the absurd... #Goodies50 #OldTinMine

Pictures: Graeme, laden with prospecting gear. Dialogue from the episode: Graeme: Never mind your tooth. By the time we’ve finished, you can have a mouthful of these. You can have gold arms and legs if you want to. Come on, all the gear’s outside on the mule. Bill: Oi! Oi, wait a minute. What do you mean, mules, mine detectors, all that stuff? That must have cost you a fortune. Graeme: Yeah, of course it did. Why do you think we’re broke?

Unsurprisingly, the only reason the lads are broke is that Graeme has spent all their money on buying prospecting gear with which to get rich! Either presciently or in befuddlement, Bill refers to the metal detector as a ‘mine detector’. #Goodies50 #MineDetector

Tim and Bill (in frontier, prospecting garb) face off against Graeme (the dandified gambler).

50 years ago today, the Goodies carried their mule to Cornwall, made a fortune in cream and strawberry jam (plus scönes/scônes), then staked it all in a bunfight at the O.K. Tea Rooms. Tonight, I shall break out a stack of gingernuts and watch history unfold... #Goodies50 #SuperChapsThree #Bunfight

Philip Madoc as the tourist agent, wearing white-lensed glasses, then threatening Graeme, then bending a poker around Tim’s neck while Bill watches on.

Happy 50th anniversary to ‘South Africa’, an incisive political statement all the more powerful for being couched in comedy. #Goodies50 #SuperChapsThree #SouthAfrica

That’s 47 episodes down in my Goodies retrospective: www.jacobedwards.id.au/47-south-afr...

Next up: Bunfight at the O.K. Tea Rooms!

Bill in safari suit, smoking a cigar, contrasted with Che Guevara.

As leader of the little-uns’ rebellion, Bill isn’t a million miles removed from Che Guevara... #Goodies50

Pictures: jockeys perform a war dance in a circle around Bill, who is seated on a throne; a jockey punches Graeme in the knee, then climbs a ladder to punch him higher up! Lyrics: I’m small, I’m small, I’m irretrievably small Oh, look at me: I’m so wee I’m hardly here at all I’m cute, minute, and very tiny to boot Oh, please don’t hurt me: I’m small, I’m small, I’m small

The jockey uprising plays out to “I’m Small”—a ditty so lyrically apt, one boggles to think that its gibbon kazoo-scratch arrangement is actually a reworking of Bill's music-hall novelty song from ‘Distinctly Oddie’ (1967), and, before that, ISIRTA 4.2 (1966). #Goodies50 #ISIRTA

Tim shining his torch; Bill playing a drum kit in the jungle; Graeme shaking maracas while Tim plays the double bass.

Exquisite. Bill is revealed as the source of the ‘jungle drums’, whereupon Tim and Graeme hurry back inside... to retrieve their own instruments! When the scene reaches its faux-dread conclusion, they pre-empt a musical sting: dun-dun-dun (shake-shake-shake). #Goodies50

Four shots of Tim, and one of Graeme, slapping themselves on the face to ward off mosquitos.

Peppering the dialogue with mosquito slaps proves a stroke of genius! #Goodies50

Pictures: Bill wearing a shop mannequin in a long coat; Bill edging along a wall with posters reading ‘SNOW WHITE and the SEVEN DWARVES—CANCELLED’ and ‘ON STAGE: THE RONNIE CORBETT SHOW—BANNED’; Bill clinging to the side of a gate. Lyrics: Ooh, ooh, what’ll you do? I’m comin’ runnin’ after you I’m gonna chase you ‘til your hair turns grey Round, round, don’t you look down; through the city, through the town I’ll never ever let you get away Run! Run! Run! I’m coming to get you Run! Run! Run! I’m running...

On the night ‘South Africa’ was first broadcast, “Funky Gibbon” was at No. 39 in the UK Singles Chart... but how high could “Run (I’m Coming to Get You)” have climbed?! #Goodies50

Picture: Graeme carries out a tea tray while Tim sweeps the deck; Bill sits sucking on lemon sherbet. Dialogue from the episode: Graeme: Here, you know, I don’t think the good life in South Africa’s all it’s cracked up to be. Tim: Too much hard work for my liking. Bill: Yeah. It’s ‘cause all the Nig Nogs are gone, innit? Tim: Bill, I’ve told you before... Bill: Ow, it’s true. In the old days, we wouldn’t have had to do the chores. We’d have had a jigaboo houseboy to do ‘em for us. Tim: Bill! Bill: What? Graeme: No, it’s these South Africans. They’re such a miserable lot. Bill: Of course they’re miserable! They miss their sambo servants, don’t they? Tim: Bill! Must I remind you once again that the colour of a man’s skin makes him no less a man. Nature’s finest creation. Whatever his race, colour or creed, a man is a man! He has dignity, intelligence, and the ability to— Bill: ...to wash the dishes, cook the dinner. Sweep the floor. Tim: No, that’s degrading. Bill: Well you’re doing it. Tim: Only ‘cause all the Nig Nogs have gone. Bill: Ah-ha!

A perfect encapsulation of the Goodies’ attitude to racism: expressed in the language of the day, striving towards an ideal while acknowledging their own casual failings to rise above the status quo. ‘South Africa’ hits all the harder due to the Super Chaps’ flaws. #Goodies50

Tim reacts with incredulous disbelief as Philip Madoc’s Customs Officer reads his Wordsworth parody to Bill. The poem: I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o’er veldt and jungles When all at once I spied a crowd A host of lovely daffodungles

Philip Madoc’s tourist agent / customs officer shows his more sensitive side! #Goodies50 #daffodungles

Tim done up as a black-and-white minstrel with safari hat and beer; a dog with false mane.

The Goodies’ legacy includes not-infrequent recourse to minstrel-style blackface. In the context of Tim’s mockumentary film, this arises not from racial insensitivity but rather a homespun DIY ineptness—the same mindset that would try to pass off a Labrador as a lion! #Goodies50