beans

LinkedIn is crazy because what do you mean the most vile frat boy from college who constantly spanked me when drunk at parties, saying overtly sexual things is leading a panel called “Shaping the Future of Energy: Transformation in Oil & Gas”

trevor lawrence could be cast in a live action avatar (blue people, not air bender)

NOOOOOO CAM NOT MY FERAL DOG 😭😭😭

that’s a season ending injury if I’ve ever seen one godddddd

Dig through the ditches
And burn through witches
And CAM in the back of my
SCATTEBO

see, I love a good stew

all we learned today was that almost every platform is just AWS in a trench coat

if you are anti-beans in your chili I don’t care just keep your goopy meat sauce away from me

I will endure it as your friendship is of paramount importance

there’s so much happening around me and to me constantly that I no longer feel the need to be perceived on the internet or irl or just in general it’s all so overwhelming when does it end

oh my god y’all I forgot to live tweet my tropical redneck vacation I have SO MANY STORIES??

Chicago fuckin rules

grow up

I remember my white upper middle class ex telling me about how dangerous Chicago is (we lived in Houston) & after living near and working in Chicago for the last 5 years I’m like okay bitch what was all that about? perhaps…a bit of classism? racism? clasp your pearls sweetheart

no intentional grounding for the Patriots is crazy after watching egregious intentional grounding calls for the Eagles

#NFL

the way I will do any chore to avoid unpacking my suitcase from last weekend is a phenomenon that should be studied

this is diabolical

insane, even

mostly hilarious

today in pop culture –

“I feel gross and frustrated so I’m going to shave everything”

I love him, my husband, the overstimulated queen that he is

I think maybe I need more antidepressants and a smaller heart

MOM AND DAD! SAFE TRAVELS!

I bring a sense of whimsy to the crowded airport train that uptight men on their way to work really do not like

HELP ME UNDERSTAND –

would love to know more about the selection process!

I think it’s so cool that kickers have literally one job in the professional sport of American football and they still can’t seem to make it between a fairly large set of goal posts that have been the same width apart since before they were conceived in the womb I just think that’s so funny!!!!!!!!!

PMDD is crazy because when I turned 30 my hormones really hit a balance I’d never experienced before and yet every week before my period I feel like crashing out in the worst way that would leave 20 year old me shakin in her fuckin boots

honestly I blame covid nothing about my health has been okay since I got covid in 2021

seatbelt
hard hat
condom

OSHA approved 🫡

this shit goes hard as fuck, #KingTroi doesn’t miss

power ranger villain lookin’ asses

#WWE #Wrestlepalooza

big day for wife guys everywhere 🥰

#WWE #Wrestlepalooza

I will be gone Thursday thru Tuesday but otherwise plz come we are ready for you

I’ve been really nap maxxing lately I am just a sleepy girl I could sleep all day if you let me