Andy Churnwell

Imagine, if you will, a man whose wife has left him for his views.

Obviously, yes.

You might not agree with his policies, but you cannot deny that he has charisma. That's why he continues to be such an important figure on the world stage.

Imagine, if you will, a man whose wife has left him for his views.

Eve Fartlow: I'M READY TO GO TO WAR.

Me when the millennial barista in Costa Coffee hasn't prepared my fat white to my precise specifications.

Sloppy's favourite Toilet Bowl, a toilet full of food.

Oh my GOD, you guys, I finally did it. I went down to Sloppy's - yeah, that Sloppy's - and ordered the legendary Toilet Bowl. And let me just say? This is what freedom tastes like. 🇺🇸

YouTube guy who looks like a chill Andrew Tate: how to easily meditate all the time

Andrew Tate cultivated inner peace and self-compassion and his hair grew back.

I have a lot of compassion for right-wing people. It must be absolute hell to have to pretend to like terrible music and artists who haven't produced anything good in over twenty years simply because they share your reactionary world view.

Me presenting the Hungry Horse chef with the coveted Andy Churnwell Medal of Excellence after he's microwaved my flamin' bad boy burger.

Tell you what. Toby Young, The Chodemeister himself, is going to need SOOO much free speech when the authorities investigate the extent of his relationships with Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffery Epstein. I can only assume the Free Speech Union is a cash cow for the impending court case.

When an American is outraged that cafes in Europe don't stock their beloved corn syrup-based creamer.

EXCLUSIVE: Sam Mendes releases new press shots of Harris Dickinson (as John Lennon) and Paul Mescal (as Paul McCartney) in upcoming Beatles film.

Two of the Pigeon Detectives with their weirdly misshapen heads.

Who remembers before woke when British lads looked like this? No more.

Me, Ty, Warnock against a Union Flag. The text says Pounded At The Pumps!

Help me, Sir Keir!

Wrestlers: the top (the pumps) is sitting on the middle's (me getting pounded) head while the bottom (the pumps) is doing a headstand.

The Green Party won the by-election and now I'm being #PoundedAtThePumps!

Oh, I'm about to hit the roof (of my Yaris)!

The One Show stays ON during sex

That SNL Tourette's sketch makes Matt Forde's Spitting Image look like golden era Simpsons.

Old photo of Kwik Save

My indignation burns like a thousand suns for the lost linoleum republic of Kwik Save - those fluorescent plains of 17p mash and unapologetic thrift. Now we wander artisanal wastelands, basketless and broken. THIS IS WHAT ANTIFA TOOK FROM US.

Me looking stinking rich

I can't believe I chose to move to Dubai this week.

Angry man on question time saying Or would you allow North Korea, or some idiot in Iran, to bomb us.

Would you, @zackpolanski.bsky.social, push that big red nuclear annihilation button without hestiation? Well, would you? What do you have to say for yourself?

Jay Jay the jet plane with the text changed to Yum Yum Wes Streeting

He shits out transphobic chemtrails as he glides through the sky.

Sleaford Mods magazine

They're selling Sleaford Mods Magazine in Waitrose.

Andy Burnham, Noel Gallagher, Lucy Powell

"Wh-where am I?"

"Never mind that.

"Come here and rub lotion on Andy's back."

Charlie Mullins with head poking out of rubble.

Pimlico Plumbers ex-pat patriot Charlie Mullins tells British people to abandon the UK for Dubai.

70 comments.

Yeah, not reading any of these. I've been out all day enjoying my life with my friends.

Nick Cohen's article about the shamelessness of Zack Polanski

This might surprise people who aren't from the UK, but over here there's a publication that, in order to write for it, you have to be a sex offender.

Andy Churnwell doing a jig in Costa Coffee

Sir Keir having been all sick down himself.

I’ve long argued that any hard centrist party would need Sir Keir, not out of sentiment, but strategy.

Credibility + recognition + an existing base = lift-off!

Finally it’s here. Sir Keir is joining #Revorce. Now we build!

Me pointing to the camera; Revorce logo

You win this one Greens. But watch out. #Revorce will beat you off next time.