Candyce Ossefort-Russell

Being seen and understood is a fundamental human need, especially when you’re going through something painful. #connection #validation #saftey #understood #deeptherapist

#Attachment theory clearly demonstrates that social loneliness ( from not spending time with friends, etc.) is different from attachment loneliness (from longing for a partner). Getting together with friends or finding a roommate rarely assuages attachment #loneliness. #grief

It is possible (and useful) to feel all of the emotions at once—your own pain, compassion and resonant pain for others, AND the natural gratitude that arises for your own good fortune even in the midst of your pain when you allow yourself to suffer-with others.

The key 2 all help we offer to grieving friends is for us to learn to bear our own unease in the face of the helplessness we feel as caregivers when we witness inconsolable suffering in our loved ones.When we do, we can face the natural caregivers’ anxiety that drives us toward hurtful suggestions

If we have helped to bear the suffering of a full #dissolution, we can grow into more open, #compassionate, outspoken-for-good people through #radical self-reorganization.

According to Diana Fosha, affective neuroscience also reinforces attachment research showing that it is in our attachment to a bigger, stronger, wiser, kind caregiver who is attuned to our emotional states, that we learn to regulate our own emotions.

The vastness of self-destabilization created by loss can be agonizingly disorienting. #Grief #deeptherapist

Together, we can look death in the face, bear its consequences, and learn to navigate the richness of painful, challenging uncertainty. We can be part of a network of support that allows death to humble us into awe, rather than shaming us into submission.

When you can allow people who can understand your sadness and pain to walk into the scary places with you, you will feel a connection within your pain, a connection that does not make the pain go away but that helps you bear the hurt. Connection within pain is love. #connection

Rituals create pause within #busy-ness. They are small actions that bracket routines with meaning and intention. By acknowledging meaning and intention in any activity, we live from the heart. #goodtherapy #deeptherapist #griefadvocate

When our social brains are in such distress, what we most need is to be understood. Feeling like our emotions are understood is often the only thing that helps in times of anguish. #deeptherapist #emotions #understanding

If you become familiar with what grief looks like, you’ll understand what’s happening as you watch your friend make it through her pain. That way, what you see in front of you won’t be so daunting and bewildering. #grief #understandgrief #pain #griefsupport #cortherapist #loss

Grief: It’s Not Just One Thing.... Our culture is so emotionally unintelligent that we lump all grief into a one-size-fits-all package. Which is completely inaccurate. And we’re not very good at dealing with any kind of grief at all.

There’s a #myth in our #culture that a goal during times of difficulty — like grief, illness etc. — is a state of acceptance & that acceptance looks like a constant, unruffled state of #serenity. You’ll never be upset or hurt by the difficult circumstances again. That’s FALSE!

Finding support from at least one other person who can be with you as you expand your capacity to feel will generate a love for life that can never be taken away from you. No matter how hard life becomes.