LambLikeTheAnimal

Some people have a vent account.

I have a weird sub account where I show my human face and make butthole jokes.

#WritersofBluesky

I'm gonna open a pizza restaurant like chuckie cheese but without video games and all the animatronics are in the bathrooms.

#competition #VISA #Mastercard #TheyAreAntiAmericanLosersWhoSupportChristofacism

Every day of my life a goblin whispers secrets into my butthole.

Idk about you but if a witch or ghost opened up my butthole and said "squiddle dee dee, answer me these riddles three!" I'd be pretty annoyed :/

Sucking cock, straight style (I have a tazer under my balls).

#ChristIsLord

Sorry I meant to post this on #LinkedIn

I hate working in the office. My tummy hurts and I need to jack off

Being an adult means navigating different friend groups.

I have one group that wants to do an experiment to confirm a study that said people, in a blind test, cannot differentiate between types of onions.

I have another group that, if I brought this up, would call me "onion boy" until I die.

A snowball's chance in Hell is actually 1 in 9 which isn't that bad considering the circumstances.

The same dudes who fetishize the supposed lost strength and competence of their forefathers want computers to write their emails for them.

Can't leave fingerprints at a scene if your feet do the crime.

What if our butts were in the front and our knees still bent the same way?

That's how it feels to chew Five gum.

Cum.

I'm here, I'm queer, and I'm ready to escape the rat's hellsite once and for all.