Knight

Man I am getting sick of feeling like I'm DYING
This whole month has been rotating between headaches, backpain and stomach pain I am 31 I should not have this many problems this early

Quit Overwatch
Dropped off Rivals
I'm sure I'll be tired of Deadlock someday but not today

a drawing of a cartoon character holding a sword and another cartoon character ALT: a drawing of a cartoon character holding a sword and another cartoon character

At this point I'm just gaslighting myself thinking I can finish this

www.twitch.tv/justcallmekn...

Is it weird I sometimes run my own vods for background noise?

a cartoon character is wearing a red cape and holding a knight 's head . ALT: a cartoon character is wearing a red cape and holding a knight 's head .

Still driving myself INSANE trying to finish this stupid Pantheon

www.twitch.tv/justcallmekn...

My work schedule is even more inconsistent than me streaming like
Why schedule me six days in a row, with one day off in the week.
Two weeks in a row with Mon and Tue off.
Followed by another six days with Wed and Friday off.
Why can't retail make sense.

Surprise gift art from @wikipixel.bsky.social and it's the first pic made of my fursona since the reference was officially done!

I seriously can't thank them enough for their amazing work.~

With a new year comes change after all. My new fursona is finally finished!
Huge thanks to @wikipixel.bsky.social for the design and helping to make it happen!

Expect more of my new self/sona in the future through other commissions and eventually a stream avatar!

God I didn't even touch on how I thought it was ok to hate on people who liked shows I was apparently not supposed to like, or arguing over something despite being wrong and just uuuuuugghhh I'm so glad I'm out of that hateful ass mindset

So yeah, that's why. This goofy little cat will blend in with the rest of them and that's just how I want it to be.

He's simple because, quite frankly, I'm simple. I'm so painfully average that I'm at the age where I'm glad I am. I'm easy to please, you can figure me out in like an hour, and I don't ever get up to anything crazy.

No fancy patterns, no fancy new name, a lot of traits cat sonas use (they just work), hell barely any clothes aside from the jacket.
Just a cat, with a Ghost because I (still) am way too into Destiny.

I thought about it a lot but the phrase "Keep it simple, stupid." wrang in my head while I tried. So I chose my favorite color scheme, picked my favorite jacket in my wardrobe, and went with arguably the most used race furries love to go with.
Out comes this stupid cat, me.

So, I changed his look (again). Cancelled any other commissions I had waiting with him. And now he sits on the bench with the other casts of toons in case I have an idea that fits them again. But that left me without a 'face' to use that I could identify with.

I felt weird about it at first but then the next morning I felt relieved. I didn't have to put on a mask hoping it would become my real face anymore. I felt like I could fucking breathe. Until I looked at Zahk again and it just reminded me of them again.

I don't exactly know the turning point but somewhere along the ling I looked at these group of people I called friends and realized they hadn't made me smile in a long long long looooong time and just...left. Left the server, unfriended most, blocked some more, and just didn't look back.

It started to visualize it's way onto my character. Changed his appearance to more of what I *wanted* to be and less of what I actually was and at that point it's not really a persona is it?

To which I started becoming cynical and jaded as well. Started getting sucked into opinion bubbles like anti-woke, manosphere, even some vague incel shit. I fell into the mindset that I should act, look and sound a certain way and somehow ended up trapped in that way for a while.

This is partly due to a certain group of 'friends' that I've been around for a long, long time. Upwards of 10 years. But as time went on the people in the group changed. Some left, some joined, some stayed. And a lot of their personalities changed from the goofy dudes I met to more cynical and jaded

To try and make it short: My last main sona, Zahk, just didn't feel like a representation of me anymore. Sure I gave him the same clothes, hair, and a few mannerisms as me but after a while he started changing from that to a totally different person.

I just wanted to type out exactly why I'm changing sonas again, helps me stop thinking about it all the time when I put it in a somewhat phsyical space.
Now I see why diaries exist

I can complain, vent, and offload here right? I'm allowed to do that.

#kreatures
Oh!

🎨 https://x.com/DuskDrawings

#kreatures
Who is that??

🎨 https://x.com/DuskDrawings

#kreatures

🎨 x.com/Gaogomon

#kreatures
Who needs walks when you can just jump buildings.

🎨 https://x.com/DuskDrawings

🎨 https://bsky.app/profile/frostynoten.bsky.social

#kreatures
🎨 https://bsky.app/profile/irises.bsky.social

#kreatures

🎨 https://twitter.com/Akaunkel

#kreatures