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If you want people to follow you back on social media I suggest trying to be funny or interesting or cute instead of being excruciatingly tedious

sorry but i would not have sex with Sydney Sweeney. i am already married to someone else

Got the wrong cake for my wife's bday yesterday and she was very gracious about it. But I won't forget this. 364 days left to make it right

yay December

for context NYC offered a $10k reward for any critical information about the homocide which is about the cost of a single 15 minute ambulance ride after UnitedHealthcare denies coverage bc the EMTs responding to the call were out of network

provocative mirror selfie

Fancy seeing you here

Happy dead white shithead day, brother

As a former adjuster, I can tell you that these claims are extremely expensive; cost of anesthesiologists, the drugs themselves etc … and time is the biggest factor in the cost. Meanwhile, your premium will continue its yearly rise. They will never stop squeezing.

Absolutely bc they're all so disturbed in their own ways

I need to set aside time to unwind soon ive been keeping busy

Genuinely can't remember the last time I was drunk lol

But genuinely cause I'm staring down this same barrel and I'm scared

It's also wild to contrast the NYT's coverage of antisemitism to its coverage of trans rights. An unconfirmed anecdote of someone yelling something antisemitic gets a whole op-ed, but months of bomb threats against gender clinics warrant no concern whatsoever.
bsky.app/profile/gone...

that's the one

Bluesky joining the ranks of apps I actually use bc I cannot leave notifications on. no ma'am.

I hate that one guy who ran around collecting girls addresses to send them bday cards bc I wish I could send mutuals holiday cards without evoking the same vibe!!

Thats insane!! Was it passages/do you remember which book?

People just aren't named "Milt Rice" anymore

Happy Thanksgiving to everybody and a special thanks to all of the people in the emergency services working today and sending love and prayers to all of those in hospital or sick and to all those sitting by their bedside. Praying for loved ones to feel better.

The other ninja turtles really give Raphael a hard time for expressing the correct emotion of anger at being a sentient creature forced to live in the sewers and fight as a child soldier

They chose effing Saruman

Sucks

What is this called?

Has Trump been on Hot Ones? They should make him do it every month maybe he'll perish

One of my least favorite things about living on the west Coast is how the time zones affect the Macy's thanksgiving day parade. I just wanna watch it from the beginning

Waking up didn't have my glasses on and immediately tripped and broke the bowl in my bong. But that's why we have backups

And you!

A loaf of challah bread with spikes and legs that resembles an alligator.

New Orleans out here innovating in bread shapes. Say hello to the challigator.

Same