Gary Brannan

THIS IS WHAT THEY WANT

Just saw a reel of Richard Osman on Richard Osman’s instagram which has a picture of Richard Osman as the profile pic; and the reel is Richard Osman on the set of Richard Osman’s House of Games and he opens the reel with “Hi, I’m Richard Osman”

Will it be chips or jacket spuds?
Will it be carrots or frozen peas?
Will it be mushrooms?
Fried Onion Rings?

Mrs Merton, on learning that Joanna Lumley’s husband is a conductor: “How interesting. Which bus?”

Mrs Merton to Boy George: “What makes you happy? Bearing in mind decent folk are watching”

I miss Caroline Aherne - watching an old episode of The Mrs Merton Show, and she’s just asked whether “we should save the environment, or can we live without it?”

111 Years Ago Today: War Declared By All

111 Years Ago Today: War Declared By All

Yeah just realised this is the Space:1999 version of:

Went to my partner’s grandad’s 90th birthday last weekend.

Many years back I was asked to photoshop my gf’s brother so his hair wasn’t so messy. Naturally I gave him dicks for ears thinking SOMEONE would notice.

The prints are now sun-bleached but they’re still on grandad’s sideboard.

Holy hotpot, that’s amazing!

Hang on, Bill Tarmey as in off of Coronation Street??

Is that the second series one because that one is a certified BANGER

Uh oh

Why.....why does the vynil need to be 'rugged'?

Ummm I walked all through the west end of London last night and saw nothing by people having a good time

Would have gone with ‘sounds like onanism’ personally

We are not so different, Mr. Bond. Granted, my body temperature is 9 degrees lower, I have a duck-billed snout, and reproduce by laying eggs. But we both enjoy the hunt and the kill.

How the mystery of Winston Churchill's dead platypus was finally solved The platypus was a top secret gift from Australia, found dead in his enclosure as war raged in the seas around him.

With animals named after Churchill, phantom "depth charges", and the phrase ""all-night orgies of love", fuelled by "copious quantities of crayfish and worms".", this must have been written by @garybrannan.bsky.social even though I know it wasn't.

www.bbc.com/news/article...

Yes! That’s a reference to 15th century Archbishop of York, Richard Scrope!

Whimsicality after whimsicality, will it never end!?

The Archbishop of York here, in a lovely video ahead of last week’s Euros final, outing himself as a Tottenham fan.

Brave, considering that the last Archbishop of York to openly support a ‘Hotspur’ ended up dead.

www.instagram.com/reel/DMm_iW3...

That’s a Bond film isn’t it?

“Two to look out for, number one there - "Zeinab Badawi's Twenty Hotels", and number three, “Winston Churchill’s Dead Platypus”.”

INCREDIBLE COINCIDENCE

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

A few cocktails in and a large curry dinner about to start

Learn to read basic body language. If someone you just sat next to pointedly turned to look out of the window, they're probably not gagging to hear your sage insights into the weather, etc.

Don't get me started on PEOPLE in public. We'll be here all day.

Just a snippet

1. People standing in doorways deciding what direction to go
2. People in supermarkets deciding to talk in the middle of an aisle, blocking it completely
3. People in offices talking in corridors, blocking it.

My pet peeve

1) Walks into station
2) Stops, looks at screen.
3) Walks up to barrier
4) Stops, fumbles for ticket or phone QR code to scan.

HAVE YOUR GOD-DAMN TICKET READY BEFORE YOU WALK TO THE BARRIER.

Take your backpack off

Just this week dealt with someone who stepped off the train and immediately stood still in front of the doors.

My stance on capital punishment changed.

Discovered today that not everyone considers this nine year old viral tweet a seminal text in the field of social media studies but I do