Argon Dreamcast Evangelion

Going through old posts and I fear I may be insane...

So, turns out, they do make this! It's called "cocaine"

One of our bartenders at work gives me the most lunatic gay bar pours whenever I order a shot and I can't tell if that means she loves me or hates me. Ma'am this is a gallon of Jameson I would like to Uber home, not the fucking Shadow Realm

"How did nobody realize Clark Kent was Superman? All he does is take his glasses off!"

Bro, my coworker came in to order food and I didn't ring in his employee discount because he wasn't wearing a hat

Deadlock should release more maps in different cities. Make one based on where I live, Valve. I want Doorman's ult to banish Apollo to the Holiday Inn next to Steve's Old Time Tap

A good friend group should look like a good D&D party. You need:
• The Fighter- Homie who always wants the smoke but is actually the safest dude ever
• The Bard- Friend who wants to bang everything and succeeds bizarrely frequently
• The Wizard- Autistic

I'm better than AI because I:
• Am capable of making original art
• Abhor plagiarism
• Consume basically no water

My buddy's on his way to pick me up and will be here any minute now. But I have to poop. And I am *not* pooping at the bar. The race is on.

This is my large era

Dewey Decimal System?

I sure hope we do!

Worked my first barback shift in like two years last night and guess whose upper body is, in fact, not build to support the full weight of a full-size keg for literally any measurable length of time? My biceps and triceps have become...cryceps... 😭

Seeing a lot of hype about this Marathon game and, I'm sure it's plenty cool and fun and all, but I can't get over the ads for it. It opens with the line, "Survive or die." Like...yeah man, those are in fact the two options. In literally every circumstance. You nailed it.

I'm too American to actually know dick about rugby but is it just our football except cooler?

Popular downtown bar that serves food til damn near last call means they can charge basically whatever the fuck they want

I need to know what the "Trasherrole" is. It sounds like something Guy Fieri spawned from a warlock pact...

This is going around again. Shoutouts to a @5secondfilms.bsky.social video that's old enough to drive a car for always inspiring me

KKKang the Konqueror

If each of your irises is a different color, you have heterochromia

If each of the sexy mannequin legs on your synthesizer stand are different colors, you have heterochromeo

Bowser: "Alright, Koopa Troop, how are you gonna stop Mario?"

Thwomp: "Crush him with my spikes!"

Snifit: "Blast him with my bullets!"

Chargin' Chuck:

My TV works fine, but for some reason this Canadian comedy show about a guy who loves duct tape always shows up in black and white

I'm Red Green colorblind

SCP-055, the "self-keeping secret" or "anti-meme", is an unknowable object with the anomalous property of causing a person to immediately forget all details of its existence the moment they're no longer observing it. I experience this exact same phenomenon with Elon Musk's voice

Mythbusters was a great show because if you strip away all the science and safety procedures it becomes a show essentially about drunk frat guys letting their intrusive thoughts win. Bro let's drop a mannequin off the roof it'll be so sick, then we can microwave my gun

Blizzard: "There's no magic in Overwatch"

Every new Overwatch character:

Villeplume

Flav fucks with skeleton athletes. That. Is how. You know. You MADE it!

One of the guys asked me what the most metal D&D monster is. Like there's any answer besides the Atropal Scion. That is a straightup STILLBORN GOD! That shit rules

The downtown bodega is unexpectedly closed, so shoutouts to the old man named Kevlar at this bar who bummed me a smoke. Not all heroes wear capes. 🫡

Idea: A modern remake of Twin Peaks that takes place entirely within that titty restaurant

Sports team names have wildly disparate levels of intensity. I mean look at even just the NHL:

Seattle- Mythological sea beast that drags men to a watery grave

New Jersey- Flying demon horse that terrorizes the forest

Toronto- Leaf 🙂

Disappointed to find out a "blow gun" is some kind of primitive dart weapon and not a rifle that fires cocaine as I feel like its name implies it is...