Retro Computers

An encyclopedic, two-page ad touting the ability of Berkeley Softworks software to extend your C64. Software advertised include GEOS, GEOS 128, geoPublish, geoCalc, GeoWrite Workshop, geoFile, geoProgrammer, geoSpell, Deskpack, Fontpack 2, geoFile 128, geoWrite Workshop 128, and geoCalc 128.

Scientists At Berkeley Stop The Aging Process!

A red ad, showing five games. The title is "Sparks of Genius." Game 1 is NARC ("Your mission is to seek out and destroy the king pin of the MR BIG Corporation); screenshots show a beat-em-up and a guy on a walkie-talkie. Game 2 is Robocop 2 ("Seven levels of muscle-straining, reflex-testing, sideways scrolling fury!); screenshots show a sidescrolling stage and robocop firing up. Game 3 is Total Recall ("As Doug Quaid you travel to Mars to discover your true identity..."); a poster and images of a platforming section and an elevator section appear. Game 4 is Chase HQ 2 ("Special Criminal Investigation - continuing where Chase HQ left off..."); screens show a racing game in a foggy cityscape in skyscrapers, and a helicopter chase in a dirtier city at nighttime. Game 5 is Pang ("No time for balloonin' around!"); screenshots show a UK palace and a mountain range, both of which have a tiny guy in a safari hat shooting up at bubbles. At bottom, the OCEAN logo.

SPARKS OF GENIUS (Source.)

Screen top right, "TURN 14"; below that, a compass indicating the wind is blowing to the north at 18mph. Below that, "FIREBREAKS: 6"; below that "COMMANDS: Arrow Keys D(rop water F(irebreak B(ackfire". Screen left, the 25x25 grid that represents the forest; a few lakes in blue are dotted about, but much of the screen is covered in red of varying depths. The black vertical liens indicate the user used firebreaks to keep the fires from heading west, but with the wind now blowing to the north, the fire is starting to spread north of the firebreaks. It's not certain how the user will be able to protect the homes in the center and the homes at risk to the left in the same few turns, indicating the sort of stress this game that is essentially a turn-based cellular automata put you through.

With the wind feeding and spreading fire, use firebreaks, backfires, and water drops in order to contain a forest fire and protect the people within.

Up top, the title of the game, Knights of Xentar. Bottom, the status of Demond and Rolf, the part's members, along with menus (Item, Magic, Status, Equip, File, System) and currency (6873 Sovereigns). In the middle of the screen the head of Rolf (a blue-haired well-bearded man) says: "Hey, do you have a sudden urge to sing Culture Club songs?"

Knights of Xentar (1995) (Source.)

Article from a 1988 issue of COMPUTE!'s Gazette, featuring a hack to use functions from the C64's built in BASIC interpreter to interpret a broad array of BASIC statements as a function. Headings are Typing It In, Using Smart VAL, and Error Trapping.

Give your 64's VAL function a lession in mathematics with this short-but-powerful machine language routine!

Monospaced text on a red-brown background reads: "THE COURT LOANS YOU 2000 GOLD. You promise to find a new world and return with gold and glory for the crown. Ahead lies the unknown. It is your chance to find fame and fortune. Your expedition includes: 4 ships 100 Men 52 weeks of food 300 trade goods (Press Button To Continue)"

The Seven Cities of Gold (Amiga, 1985)

"Heat and PPP Paid Apartments Multiplying": A magazine article from Boardwatch magazine discussing the hot new thing in the housing market - apartments WITH fiber-optic! A 1300 square foot apartment in Bakersfield, CA goes from the high $500s to the mid $700s.

Why did Gen X become Gen X68000? Perhaps it was because new computers were $200 while a 1300 square foot apartment with broadband Internet went for $500. (Source.)

An ad for the Amstrad GX4000 from MicroHobby magazine. In the top left, the console itself appears; it's trying to evoke two different 90s art styles at once with broad curves (the lip over the controller ports, the handles to either side, the decorative notches in the case) being very Wonka Pomo but the white-grey case with a light touch of red for the power switch and cartridge being very Mall Deco. The controllers continue this, with the soft rounded wonka pomo corners but austere mall deco. Beneath, however, it's pure sci-fi: the machine floats over a space battle, in space, a planet down below, with a Legally Distinct X-Wing (only two wings!) and a Legally Distinct Enterprise (it a glass dome and the Space Shuttle instead of nacelles!) are evading a gold space robot firing a raygun. The Spanish text reads "Super Fast" (next to images of the games Fire Forge II and No Exit), "Super Graphics" (next to images of the games Kick and Dick Tracy), "Super Sound" (next to images of the games Batman and Robocop 2). Down below is the price (19,900 pesetas) and the Amstrad logo ("Amstrad has what you want!")

"Amstrad has what you want..." (Source.)

An ad from the October '93 issue of Compute Magazine for Prince of Persia 2. Up top, the heading "Bad Day In Bagdad." In the background, a still of a Harryhausen-style action movie. In the foregrounds, photos of a man stuck in quicksand, fighting on a pier, leaping from a minaret into a windowsill, fencing on a castle wall while a guard leaps from above. The long winded text touts features like "Pulse-Quickening Action", "Rich Movie-Like Story and Soundtrack", and "Incredibly Realistic Animation."

Bad Day in Bagdad!

Top, the "Elite" logo - a gold aguila with silver wings and helmet behind the word "ELITE." Left is a screenshot for the BBC Micro B and B+, and right is a screenshot for the BBC Master; both show the player, a first person spacehip, focusing on an enemy ship with stars flying in the background; gauges appear in the bottom left and right, and the now industry standard isomettric radar on the bottom of each screenshot shows the player is surrounded. Below is dense copy, describing the complex aspects of gameplay (exploration, combat, trade, and quests); below that, the Superior Software logo (a red and white interlinked pair of Ss), the Acornsoft logo (an egg), and an order address (mail and phone only) are listed below.

"Elite, the widely acclaimed 3-D space game, is the highest selling game ever published for the BBC Micro and Acorn Electron..."

A list of the largest US ISPs from May 1996. The full table includes Subscribers, Signups/Week, PHone Nubmer, Home Page, Montly Fees, and cost per hour. The top ten are Netcom, Spry Net, PSINet, Global Network Nav, Concentric, EarthLink, IDT Corp, Internet America, TIAC, and Mindspring.

It is now believed that there may be hundreds of thousands of people on the Internet

Computer & Video Games Magazine #112, a UK game magazine from March 1991. The cover is framed in red "Danger" markings. Up top, it lists "AMIGA MEGADRIVE ST SUPER FAMICOM C64 SEGA SPECTRUM SEGA AMSTRAD PC ENGINE PC NINTENDO" (in that order, yes I know there's repeats) The title is yellow in a red circle; below, Poison (a redhead fighter in a Shadoloo flight cap, wielding a knife and handcuffs, and wearing a gold coffin earring) looks at you, to a backdrop of Vegas neon. Bottom left, a first-person racing game screenshot is subtitled "SUPER MONACO GP: US GOLD'S BEST CONVERSION YET?" The footer states "REVIEWED! FAMICOM SUPER MARIO WORLD, TURRICAN 2, SOLAR JETMAN, SNAKE RATTLE 'N' ROLL, PRO TENNIS TOUR 2" and "WIN!! EXTERMINATOR COIN-OP SUPER FAMICOM AND CONSOLES GLAORE!"

This Girl Is POISON!! (Source.)

A brown triangular prism. The top side is used to for the triangular top-loading cartridges (this cartridge has Road Race, Tennis, and Quick Draw). The facing side is the pinball interface, with two paddles, a rotary switch, 'Slam Left', 'Slam Right', a skill selector, a power switch, and a reset button. The far side is a racing interface, with steering wheel and gear selector. The right side is shooting game interface, with a realistic looking sidearm and three buttons in holes. The interface panels alternate woodgrain and faux metal.

A triangular console with triangular cartridges, the Telstar Arcade was the last entry in the Coleco Telstar line, and it certainly left an impression.

In purple frame, the results for the "Pixel A Pixel" art contest from the March 89 issue of Microhobby magazine; all these were made on the spectrum. Here, we have two first-place images, with 31 of 100 votes; the second place image has 27 of 100 votes. The first image by Tomas Aceytuno Dominguez is titled "Leuco" ("White" or "Pale" or "Colorless", I'm not sure); it depicts a man in fron tof a crashed spaceship, holding a gun at some unshown beast; stars and planets appear in the background over cold icy mountains, and growths appear, indicating a frozen forest. Second is a picture of Judas Priest, by Pedro José González Casares; it shows two rockers with their foots up on speakers playing guitar, while colored lights on stage and strobing camera effects indicate they're in a busy show. Third is a picture of a pegasus rampant, by Jorge Morga Bachiller; in a white circle it shows a white pegasus, rampant, its wings spread (and one wing escaping the circle), a huge untamed mane.

Pixel-A-Pixel for March '89 (Source.)

Top left, the 'Data Ranch (A Division of Virtual Reality Laboratories, Inc.' logo appears, purple ranch-style lettering with a sherrif's star in the middle of the D on a gold background. The title appears in heavy block font in rainbow gradient, with different subtitles in black and white: "FORMBUSTER (Means never having to use a typewriter to fill out a form...) FORMBUSTER (Means never having to look for the same information over and over again.) FORMBUSTER (Means never having to cringe when another form comes in.) FORMBUSTER (Means having extra time for fun!) Dense text below describes use cases ("insurance companies, hospitals, schools and universities, escrow companies, banks..."), technical requirements ("fax board for your PC"), and ordering information ("Retail price $49.95" says one box; "Available at your local reseller or at Egghead and COMPUSA")

FORMBUSTER means more time for fun! (Source.)

Up top, the credit "Tim Hartnell, Master Gamesman". Below, the caveat, "For most popular home computers that use basic." A green-and-yellow dragon with blue crest and pink wings curls around the title: "Creating Adventure Games On Your Computer"

Have you ever wanted to make a video game? on your OWN computer? Computer illuminary Tim Hartnell has just the book for you. (Source.)

An image of the game being played; it is night, and the moon is full. In the distance, several mountains can be seen; many are snowcovered. Two lone trees are on the landscape, and in the front, a crashed prop plane (broken windshield, broken tail, and broken wing, with nonsense call letters) can be seen. There is a prompt at the bottom, awaiting the user's input.

Developed by a team of doctors, Wilderness had a traditional adventure goal (find a gold statue, and extract), but the gameplay focused on shelter, encumbrance, star navigation, limiting exposure, and food safety.

The cover to the book, "Writing Your Own Program: Creating A Database: Adventure Game." Each line is in its own font. The computer (a black affair with rainbow keys" depicts a scuba diver swimming, handcuffs in hand, as it is attacked by a giant cross octopus; the painted octopus is literally bursting out of the monitor. A tiny little banner in the corner states: "For Commodore 64 And Apple IIe Computers"

Man, 80s computer books made even non-relational databases look fun. (Source.)

A three-piece computer unit. Up top, the white monitor reads: "MSX BASIC versão 1.1 Br 'G r a d i e n t e' 28014 bytes livres OK" up top, then "color auto goto list run" down below. The computer itself is a grey pizzabox, with black angular highlighting joining the two cartidge slots and the power light. Image bottom, the Expert's keyboard; a full keyboard, it includes multimedia buttons, a blue directional keypad, and the same angular black highlighting as is on the face of the computer proper. A small recess in the computer allows the keyboard to be locked in place, although this seems only to be to hold the keyboard in position, not to store the keyboard.

Was the Gradiente Expert a MSX machine? If you asked their laywers, they'd say no. If you ask everyone who patched MSX games to run on the Expert, they'd say yes.

It made the top five, almost made the top three

extremely detailed pixel art of an amiga computer sitting on a column with water pouring out of the monitor and filling a reef filled with bright fish, a pink flamingo, orca whales, a distant mountain and a toucan on top of the monitor - all spilling out from the screen.

Please enjoy one of the sickest pieces of pixel art I've ever seen: "Amiga Lagoon" by Jim Sachs (~1993)

In a landscape screenshot, the top shows a rotting knight flying on a skeletal dragon, with red eyes watching the attacking knight from the night sky. The text reads: "Maya screams in despair as she recognizes the gruesome remains of her ex-lover. Sir Karl brandishes his sword as his death dragon swoops towards the scattering crowd. Press button or return to continue."

Death Knights of Krynn took the familiar gold box D&D formula and moved it the world of Dragonlance, where Arthurian heroes fought Gothic horrors.

Up top, a portly man, standing, viewed from the side; his office is dark, but his face is lit by the Sony Walkman, his eyes invested. He is holding a Sony Watchman, a device about the size of a Game Boy, to his chest. The title reads: "The Skinny Sony." Dense ad copy touts the 1.25" thickness, the sharp 2" diagonal black-and-white screen, the ease of carrying it about with you in your pocket. The bottom right corner shows the device in profile: a screen mid-body, a tuning dial body right, a power-volume dial top right, and a retractable "rabbit ear" antenna top left. The bottom right reads "INTRODUCING SONY WATCHMAN PERSONAL TV. SONY: THE ONE AND ONLY."

THE SKINNY SONY

A top-down RPG. To left, a depiction of a village. To right, headshots and statistics for party members Trelain, Junara, Mahmud, Thal'Kan, Lucina, and Suela, all of which are some combination of blue, yellow, and grey. Bottom left are the movement buttons and a Help button. Bottom center are various controls.

The Aethra Chronicles: Celystra's Bane (DOS, 1994)

From Popular Computing Weekly for 20 Jan 1983, the article "Juipter Ace revisited." Three images (all of the Ace) fill up space, while an extremely commented article gives the listing for a Galaga knockoff, 'Alien Swarm' - then reveals the 35-line program is 'as complex as the limitations of memory allowed'.

Let's revisit the Jupiter Ace, and see why even in those days it was unlikely to carry the good name of Forth forth.

An ad from the October 1993 issue of Compute magazine. In the center, Captain Hook has a indian woman tied to a post, but is terrified in turn of a dolphin the anthropomorphic handbrush and hand of a childlike god. Peter Pan, stage left, looks on in surprise. Stage right, the tiny font describes a game that will let "boys and girls age 5-9 become the hands of the animator," describing a paint-driven choose-your-own-adventure game. The logo for "EA*Kids" at the bottom evokes the squiggly aesthetic of Fido Dido style mascots that were popular in the early 90s "benign disaffected" marketing schemes.

"With Peter Pan, EA*Kids is doing something absolutely new..."

A man with an evil hipster smile, wearing a No Fear shirt, looks up at you, in an orange background. He's looking up over red glasses, so you know he's evil. The title reads, "Get plugged in". Around the hipster floats various consumer electronics: a portable DVD player, a pager, a cordless phone, a satellite disk, a settop DVD player. The text reads: "When you log-on at www.buyitnow.com you'll discover a whole new concept of shopping. You'll find pagers and plasma TV's and everything in between. In addition we've got tools, toys, sports items and even things for your dog or cat. We also offer the best customer service on the web through e-mail, live chat, or phone @ 1-888-55BUYIT. Just remember, no matter where you are or what you are shopping for, at www.buyitnow.com we have a store for you!" Below the logo and motto it says "Shop now @ www.buyitnow.com Secure Fast & Fun!" From the October 1999 issue of Family PC.

GET PLUGGED IN

Top Left, a putative illustration of Edison besides multiple prototype light bulbs - and an Apple computer. To the side, the headline "Edison had 1,800 patents in his name, but you can be just as inventive with an Apple." Below, dense ad copy with heading "How Apple grows with you," "Apple speaks many languages," "More illuminating experiences in store," and beneath, the rainbow apple logo reading Apple Computer, Inc. At the bottom, an Apple III with integrated disk drive and detached keyboard is left, and an Apple II is right, with a bamboo fan on the Apple III, which is ironic given the system's heat issues.

Edison had 1,800 patents in his name, but you can be just as inventive with an Apple. (Source.)

A "Gold Box" computer program, labelled "Official Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Computer Product: Curse of the Azure Bonds: A Forgotten Realms Fantasy Role-Playing Epic, Vol. II" In the inset image, a chainmail-and-cape equipped soldiar, Alias, rests a long sword on her shoulderpads. Behind her, a mace-equipped lizardman, Dragonbait, stands at the ready. Behind them, the Wizard's Tower, one of the villainous locations they will encounter. At bottom, the logos of TSR (in letters designed to look like an overhead dungeon map drawn on graph paper) and Strategic Simulations Inc (with the large letter Ss made of opposing arrowheads) appears at the bottom.

Curse of the Azure Bonds