F; Violent J

Everyone is absolved if they need to be for liking Harry Potter as children back when Rowling seemed normal, but this is the moment in the zombie movie where you’re weeping and holding an axe and everyone is yelling “you need to do it, that’s not the Joanne you knew, Joanne is gone”

At this point I’m literally just buying it for the new games. Fuck upgrading my games. If I’ve already got them I’m not gonna fork out extra money for other features, some of which won’t even work without Online (I.e. the Bowser Tv Live camera thing. Would literally only be used if friends are over)

I want a Nintendo switch 2 pre-order BUT the new games are so expensive. BUT new Mario kart. BUT I imagine the mic will be such low quality. BUT new rhythm heaven. BUT you need Nintendo online for any of their new features so what actually is the point.

I think we’ve managed to cope by putting all our remaining energy into hyperfixations that have come back with a vengeance (South Park will not let me rest). Anyway that’s the most of the update

So the past week has been non-stop cleaning. We’ve had so many sleepless nights and breakdowns because of this upcoming house assesment (mainly out of fear that they’ll take away our cats. We always put our cats first no matter what.) Essentially we’ve been stressed but somehow managing

We also are trying to chase up about social prescribing. We were told they’d be in touch in 10 days, then they never were. So we’ve been trying to hunt that down. We also have been reported for not being able to take care of ourselves and surroundings so we’re having a house assesment on Tuesday +

(Mainly because this past year and a half has been discovering different behaviours, wondering why they’re there, and realising the abuse history iceberg goes waaaaaaay deeper then we originally thought. It’s turned out Way more complex than we ever thought..), so we want the blank years filled in +

We had a mental health assesment again recently and we’re being referred right back to CMHT (after only 2 months away from them 😔💔 thought we’d last way longer then that), we’re REALLY trying to push for some kind of trauma processing therapy like EMDR. At this point we are DESPERATE for answers +

Oh boy. Another update (at this point I just use blueskies as a journal DW THO BS STAFF, I was like this with twatter too).
We finally got back on our antidepressants, plus we’ve finally spoken to the doctor about some physical issues that they’re medicating and looking into +

"OpenAI cooked"

it made an image that says the lungs are located in the brain and says the nose is called a "shart"

Apparently there’s a new rhythm heaven coming out after so long?!? Ugh now I have to stay alive /hj

Today I wanted to substitute alcohol for weed (because I ran out yesterday) at 8 in the morning, ate gone off fish knowing it was gone off, and have been experiencing severe pain for months that I refuse to get checked. Is it obvious I’m giving up?

What up y’all. Ended up in a crisis house earlier this month, thankfully it was only for a week. Also had to withdraw from college and gonna be redoing it again next year (for a third time..)
Supposedly we’re getting new therapists and we’re getting something called social prescribing

NO FUCKING WAY

Great nintendo direct!

bpd GO AWAY FUCKKK

Bros nuttier than me. Bros nuttier than nutmeg. @theophilous.bsky.social

You sound like Eminem if he never made it big

Fucking what

Please stay safe 🙏🏻

Genuinely baffling how many “allies” both on this app and just in general are blatantly homo/transphobic and post shit they think is funny which is usually, if not always, done at queer ppl’s expense. Like are you genuinely fucking stupid or do the dots just not connect for you?

I don’t think we will ever get better

To say I’m frustrated is an understatement. To say I don’t understand why she does this to us is an understatement. And the more depressed me and Mason get, the more we both can’t cope with day-to-day life, the more tempting it is to just let her do what she wants with our outside life.

Today she nearly completed took over without asking (which is a clear boundary we all set together to encourage better communication), and wanted to completely unmask as herself around all strangers because “it doesn’t matter”. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU?! This risks us ALL!

And it feels like as the body gets older, Myla is getting harder and harder to stop and to hold back. When we were younger it would just be flirting with adult strangers online behind all our backs. But now it’s doxxing us, booking hotel rooms with older men, sharing the body nsfw +

And this is the second time she’s done this when we’ve spoken to someone about our past. We can tell our friends, no problem. But as soon as a professional is involved, all hell breaks loose and it feels like the system starts to fall apart.+

She’s been hounding us to let her dress how she wants (here?! In this strange house full of strangers????? Are you INSANE?!), let her do what she wants but she’s especially started pressuring us to let her be the new host again (when she’s told us she would immediately work on pushing us all away) +

The other day we trusted one of the nurses/staff here and opened up about some things. Like DID, our childhood, csa memories, Myla’s behaviour. Talking about all this meant that today Myla has been utterly hell bent on making us dissociated and stressed out. +

Ok but seriously here’s a genuine update on us:

We had about 2 or 3 different episodes last week that resulted in us being put into a crisis house (like a psych ward but a lot less restrictive. If I hurt myself here we WILL be sent to the psych ward basically) +

Day*