it’s lily

And if I’m wearing Marie Antoinette’s diadem at my wedding? What then?

You get it

Maybe I’ve stayed single this long because I was saving myself for whoever heisted the louvre did you ever think of that?

Recession indicator? Everyone on instagram calling their most recent photo dump “Q1”

This is not a Nicole flaw it’s a bad film

I’ve incorporated it into my own vocabulary like a weak willed linguistic coward but I do think the term ‘yap’ hates women

If advertisers are getting so much of our personalized data why won’t thredup stop trying to sell me size 0 cocktail dresses

Gonna be so embarrassing not to be on Kash Patel’s list

It’s actually a myth that you have to pay to dry clean your wool sweaters—you can hand wash them at home for the low low price of your whole apartment smelling like wet sheep

hear me out: derms say eye creams are just small night creams, and the kiehl's night cream in the purple jar is LUXURIOUSLY heavy

no i don't want to go on a date that's my alone time to ache and think about how nice it would be to be in love again

me on apps: h8 this, in my day we met people in person this is awful
me meeting people in person: h8 this why is he texting me just cause we met that one time

Gmail now offering to have AI draft emails and also summarize ones I receive great so the computer writes the email the computer reads the email what the fuck are we even doing here

If this seems like a weird thing to be posting about in 2024, imagine how I felt at the party last night

Here’s my thing with launching an impassioned defense of woody Allen as a director at a party—you could simply have those thoughts and hold them back to share in a different forum

I don’t totally trust people who only have thin friends

When a microwave meal has instructions that end with “let stand for 3 minutes” it’s like be so fucking for real

Listen buddy you don’t just become a first rate napper overnight. Napping happens in the daytime.

When people are like “I can’t nap” it’s like not with that attitude you can’t

@danielwinn.bsky.social we have to do better

An arcane law on the New York State books requires you to go upstate at least twice a year after you turn thirty and just kind of wander in and out of shops that sell the same expensive tchotchkes that home decor shops in Carroll gardens sell. And then you and your friends get a local beer.

My fave tradition of one is I watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off once per year the Friday after thanksgiving and adjust my philosophy