Barack Me Obamadeus

Omg dude you're still drinking out of a nalgene? Omg dude what is wrong with you? Do you have a myspace profile? Do you wear skinny jeans? Ew dude ew

The government is shut down because the people who want America to be a Christian nation drew a hard line at "immigrants having access to emergency healthcare".

The radical Left: everyone, even the homeless, should have access to healthcare

Fox news: mentally ill homeless people should receive involuntary lethal injection

The enlightened Center: political violence is a problem on both sides

"Political violence is wrong" - the people who just created the Department of War.

Pronouncing "Anthropologie" like something you hawk tuah

So glad we gave Elon Musk all our data to cut 0.04% of government spending so that we could turn around and increase the spending limit by 3 trillion dollars.

Nobody who votes for a RepubIican can ever call themselves a "follower of Christ" again

Credit to Trump for onshoring jobs: we used to have to torture people in a Cuban military base, now we build concentration camps right here in Florida.

Happy 4th!

I keep getting food from the grocery store, and they keep getting my money. This is a huge trade deficit! I am going to announce tariffs on all food to punish the grocery store.

I'm so glad the people who called me a traitor for not wanting to send Americans to Iraq to find imaginary weapons are now calling me wasteful for wanting to financially assist Ukraine against an actual hostile takeover.

Siding with Russia is a small price to pay for never having to worry if the person flying your airplane is black.

"Actually, siding with Russia is good now" - every Republican tomorrow

My favorite trend with newer cars is rims that extend out past the tire so everyone can see how awful you are at parking.

I appreciate everything you do, Representative Crockett, but the bloated Defense budget has to go. Democrats should be leaning into this. There are so many people on the left who want to vote for Democrats but don't understand why that always means more war spending. It's time to stop.

SURELY, SURELY, SURELY -
SURELY THE LEOPARDS WON'T EAT MY FACE.
-
right guys?

yeah I get the whole "congrats on being sober" joke but that's not the part that we should be celebrating.

imma be honest, man, Latino people don't like "Latinx". It's the white colonialization of an inherently gendered language. Everything else in this quote is horseshit by someone who clearly believes in the supremacy of the white race. But "Latinx" needs to disappear.

Congratulations to Rush Limbaugh on 4 years of being dead

All true but unfortunately I have limited time to game, so if there isn't confidence going in that something will be a good experience, then I won't make the time to try it. I need a critical mass of "this will be rewarding and worthwhile".

Ironically, the same people who hate single moms. They'll never think to blame Elon for being a deadbeat dad

Literally had someone tell me to "find a new news source" the other day, and then said they got their facts straight from the source on X.

If you remember that the people who think "immigrants come here to take our jobs" and "immigrants come here to rape women and children" are all people from the American South, it's very easy to understand how those thoughts can coexist.

I don't want military dictatorship. I want a democracy.

Great post, but a question - how do we use the law to fight back against people who believe the law doesn't apply to them?

Andy Harris' district is full of "working" people on government benefits. He'll just never acknowledge it because they're white, so they don't count. White people are never lazy, they're just temporarily inconvenienced.

I eat 3 a day.

She finna dump his ass and write a whole album about his 2 catches all night

Sad!

This is definitely the last black history month! Frederick Lamar has to speak English from now on! Samuel "L" Jackson hasn't made a good movie since he lived on Leo's plantation! #MAGA #superbowl

Bad calls! Bad ref! He looks like a DEI hire! He's a woke! He's a CRT! He's a BLM! DEI = Definitely Eagles Influenced! #MAGA #superbowl