New Year, Relatively Same-ish Bort

"do you think people would stop calling me a pedophile if they thought i were a brutal warmongering dictator instead?"

"uhhh"

"beautiful, launch it"

YouTube video by Matador Records Railroad Jerk - "Rollerkoaster" (Official Music Video)

I absolutely mostly know this as one of the videos Beavis and Butthead watched

couldn't do a mock up of the frenulum piercing, because that would come across as an actual attempt at comedy, and they don't do "genuine" at jimmy fallon's house

2026 has a very 2006 "everybody fucking hates republicans but national media/pundits will be reeaaaaaaaaaaallllllly slow to properly understand that because of their priors about the two parties" feel to it

Voter suppression in Texas.

- rock fans would not try another genre if their lives were on the line

- rock stars adopted a "fuck you, got mine" attitude and turned crusty and hateful to outsiders

If rock died in mainstream it's because

- rock kept trying to recreate already existing sounds when the point was to always become something new

- rock put all it's eggs in the "technical proficiency" basket and now everyone's finger tapping for an insular audience

When you're very definitely really confident in your ability to win:

90s angst aged poorly because imagine writing Cherub Rock and turning around and going "aw, nobody likes me :("

Most of it should be gums, if we're being truthful

If I were anyone that worked on that game, it's On Sight with Geoff Keighley

I'm sure the real reason was that they didn't want to tip the timeline by starting an evacuation. 100s of 1000s of American vacationers, state employees, military families, and workers mattered less to our president than killing the Ayatollah.

FOLKS IT WAS HOURS WE WERE HOURS AWAY IT HAPPENED

WE DID IT

If they had DEI they’d know it was Targét not Tarzhay

James Baldwin has some valuable advice for today's online doomers: https://badfaithtimes.com/i-cant-be-a-pessimist-because-i-am-alive/

you've heard of "Americans think they're all temporarily embarrassed millionaires," well pro wrestlers think they're all temporarily embarrassed Stone Cold Steve Austins bsky.app/profile/jesu...

It’s an ICE staging center that told its queer and Black customers to go fuck themselves.

why is this pretty Japanese man built like the Rock in 1999/2000

I would just like to state for the record that the greatest TNA match that nobody talks about is Samoa Joe vs Chris Sabin at No Surrender 2005.

took me years to develop these skills
i'm untouchable thanks to these pills
the way is paved with knaves that I've horribly slain see me comin
better run for those hills

Hey, that's neat

...imagine how much bigger and more impactful it'd have been if they'd done it in a few weeks at, I dunno

...Wrestlemania?

Triple H's Booking Strategy:

A screengrab of the WWE Vault sharing "Attitude Era Week", which is redundant because it's been Attitude Era Week every week since 1998. Back row, left to right: Farooq and Bradshaw, Lita, Kane, Kurt Angle, Chyna, D'Lo Brown Front row: Bubba Ray and D'Von Dudley, The Rock, Triple H, The Undertaker, Stone Cold Steve Austin Not pictured: The fucking guy that got Triple H over.

God, owning the biggest wrestling company in America must feel great

"They hate our way of life"

Well yeah, fuckin me too bitch.

why's he always smiling like he's a movie star caricature in Looney Tunes

A tattoo cover up of Jesus Cheist and a dove with Shredder and the Ninja Turtles

This isn't a knock on the quality of the cover-up, those are always tricky, but replacing JESUS OF NAZARETH with SHREDDER OF THE FOOT CLAN is the funniest god damn thing

The Future. The Now. The Jet.

SHUT UP ABOUT JIM CARREY SHUT UP ABOUT JIM CARREY

i feel like a casting director in the late 90’s constantly hearing about jim carrey