Spider Tries

What do you MEAN the purple pill that I've taken twice a day for near a decade also comes in green

I'll give him this, "DAMN, girl, you look like you have your own theme music" is the best catcall I've ever had

No no, I'd been cooking, thus standing. I stirred a thing, then cleaned up my crafts. I held the spoon in my hand, I needed the hand, I put down the spoon. I was counter-height when I began, but took the spoon with me to the floor. This is no land of logic, nothing happens on purpose

I set it down to clean up the fabric I'd been cutting on the floor. Why, to do this, I set the food spoon on the FLOOR instead of the COUNTER, remains a mystery

"My, how like your father you look" - Procne

Help me @sparknotes.bsky.social, you're my only hope

I REQUIRE AID.

For real, I need a non-racist version of "oh no, Brere Bear, don't throw me into the briar patch"

My brain runs in references and that one is so algorithmically engrained that "twist my arm" or whatever won't budge it. #help

A metal slotted spoon with a white handle lying on a gray-and-white rug

When... did I put this on the floor

A glass of coffee next to a plate holding a wedge-shaped brownie and a small glass bowl of berry jam

Breakfast is brownie and fresh-made berry jam. Because I can

To the woman who ran a stop sign directly in front of the police station:

Why.

I can't get past this. Two hundred and fifty years of purposeful balance, of structuring a government that evaluated and monitored itself

Broken to PIECES by one goddamn man.

If you're wondering what has me crying this morning, the supreme court's shadow docket told the president to go back to ripping apart our department of education

It's the worst feeling in the world to be this glad that my father's dead. He loved this country so much, the history and promise of it, with such a strong sense of civic pride and responsibility

He was also an educator all his life. Thrived on helping people share that love and find their path

Please understand how... understated I'm phrasing it

It's not nice that waking up to NPR is the auditory equivalent of doomscrolling now

Never mind that I've conceivably never MENTIONED to my partner of ten years that I get "whistling in the dark" stuck in my head every week or so

Did I not take my night meds? Is that why I'm lying here mentally ranking TMBG songs that people HAVE to know to truly know my brain?

Or maybe I'm just a silly goose and there are people in my life who'd know the esoteric deep dives like "Spider (he is our hero)"

The number of They Might Be Giants references that play in my head is SO out of proportion to the number of people in my life who'd get them

I'm someone who prides herself on making sure any song parodies keep proper scansion, yet my brain puts this on loop for the last hour. Why god

Awake, awake, awake, awake, why must I be awake

The rows of sheep are waiting to be counted by me

Why must I be awake

Siri, play "Why Must I Be Sad" by @tmbg.bsky.social but every time they would sing "sad" I want you to say "awake". can you do that for me

The auditory equivalent of trying to read in a dream

AI voice generation is getting scary good, but sometimes they hit you with a reeeeal alphabet soup of a word

But that's not what I get today, apparently. Today my brain's the toxic parent that makes you sit at the dinner table for hours until you finish your damn food

Much prefer when I'm so AVOIDANT about one thing I should be doing that I CAN do the other things. Like it sopped up all my anti-dopamine so my (unrelated) task initiation gets nice and clean. The #ShamWow of executive dysfunction, if you will

Love love LOVE the feeling when I'm so stressed about one thing I should be doing that I can't do the OTHER things I should be doing. Like, wow. What a thrill.

And I can't even harvest its bones

Fact: there's a Dead Thing smell in the house

Fact: smell is intermittent, coming with the AC --BUT ONLY SOMETIMES

Fact: the humans and pets of the house are alive and accounted for

Concern: something's dead in a place we can't reach