Cricket, Offensive Misandrist

i know my approval is everything to u

Half sours are where it’s at but I’ll allow it a pickle’s a pickle

instead of forgetting to reply to texts or DMs my new thing is going to be responding to them in completely different platforms

[me to my crush] pls go away but also dontttttt ugh

didn’t have time to shower after sex this morning so Ive been walking around like that all day which is either gross or hot depending on how slutty you are

Ty bb 🥰🥰🥰

thankfully my hair is verrrrrry forgiving 😂

Smh u guys have no faith in my enduring hotness.

Gonna shower and show you how cute I look

I’m 47 and that thing is gonna haunt my dreams lmao

i’m not going to say what is in my heart but it rhymes with schmiolence

Wtffffff

this is about me

I have my cool and funny moments 😘

Oh i LOVED THAT BOOK i used to read it to my kids when they were babies 😭

we shall see!!!

my main purpose in life tbh i can die happy now

Did nonbinary U beat them

i hope Dr girlfriend is the OBGYN

𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺’𝘴 𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘺 is my favorite film about deviled eggs.

apparently i am On Some Shit tonight so watch out (or whatever, don’t idc)

cannot wait for next week’s warm weather 😭

true story lmaooo

lol

changed Siri to a male voice so I didn’t feel bad telling it to shut up all the time

gonna make this hidey hole a hidey home

it said “bitch fucked if i know”

wow. Wow

dw I’m doing curtain bangs not terf bangs

Y’all and your radish slander smdh

I sit on the bus, gulping congealed stew from a rusty half muffler, watching all the Millennial crybabies trying to cancel me for my love of stew. "Stew lover!" they taunt. "Bet you love that stew," another who may be a trans says. I narrow my eyes and gulp more. I'm living rent free in their heads.