Pete 🌎n Ea🕊️th

Late to the game here:

Are Seattle residents really called Seattleites?

That is so rad. 🛰️

Yes, I know that’s not the quote. I SAID I WASNT A SMART MAN!

PSA: As you send little ghosts and goblins away with *your* candy this Halloween, please remind them:

SOCIALISM IS FUCKIN’ COOL!

ChatGPT thinks that *I* have good ideas. 💅

#crikey

Hi #tayorswift please use your billion to create a new New Deal to bring jobs in arts and sciences back all across the country and redistribute wealth through labor that people feel fulfilled doing please.

Consider fingering depression?

They have fun.

It’s not just bread and circuses.

It’s Crunchy Flamin’ Hot bread and circuses!

I may not be a smart tv BUT I KNOW WHAT LOVE IS JENNAY!

Church rummage sale, without comment

Death is like a box of chocolates:

You think you’re getting caramel but it’s grief every time.

On my tombstone:

“Aughhh!”

Alter.

*shudders

#Halloween

Low battery is hands-down my most effective social media management strategy.

“Liberals are killing comedy!”

— eLOL Musk

Imagine a New Deal for 2028.

Mass employment thru fed- and state-funded arts, sciences, tech, and policy positions.

Millions of ppl ready and willing to repair, prosecute, and rebuild every single thing that was broken.

Paid for by the largest transfer of wealth in the nation’s history.

My favorite political joke:

“Wait, maybe he’s just LYING to us.”

Evergreen.

But adding taps was my idea

Greatest city in the
Greatest city in the
Greatest city in the
Wooooooooorld

Fastest-selling debut album in U.S. history at the time (sold over 1 million copies within 10 weeks)

We’re definitely in a simulation and I’m still rinsing out my jar of queso before recycling it.

We’re definitely in a simulation which explains crocs.

We’re definitely in a simulation and my code’s a litt1e bvggy.

HE ONLY UNDERSTANDS FRENCH BRO

He’s into defellatio

I hear the emphysema is good this time of year

Without consent

I really, really want my last words to be “I’m gonna live forever!“