🐞

I’m just embarrassing myself 🙃

I feel a bit like a failure to be honest. I know I’ve made progress, especially with accepting that Little D exists. But the trauma all feels raw & painful still & I feel like I should be “over it” by now, or at least not feeling so tormented over it.

Saw the teacher up at school who I massively overshared with earlier this year. She asked how I was & I said “good thanks, you?”. It was just small talk but it felt painful to say I’m doing good, when I’m so very very very not doing good.

The kids seem to have had a good day at school.

I don’t want to go back to being alone 😢 I know that technically I’m not - I have a husband & 2 amazing kids who keep me going, but I can’t talk to my husband about this stuff. When therapy finishes, I’ll have to go back to holding it all in on my own & I don’t know if I can. I’m useless & pathetic.

Thank you ♥️

Thank you ♥️

Thank you ♥️

I’m feeling very very sad.

Anna’s hummingbird in the rain #birdoftheday #birds #nature #photography #PNW #hummingbirds

A male Anna’s Hummingbird perched on a branch with his eyes closed, with a bright red gorget, and gray front.

For the #Relax theme of the #BlueSkyArtShow, a napping hummingbird.

#birds #photography #birdphotography #annashummingbird #hummingbird #birding #nature #naturephotography

It’s a while since we’ve seen a 2-spot Ladybird. This one was found on Monday between the boards of a picnic table.
#ladybirds #ento #UKwildlife

Two ladybirds huddled in the curled edge of a browning raspberry leaf

A ladybird hiding in a crevice on a worn wooden door with peeling green paint

Mood #allotment

Baby ladybugs/ladybirds in all stages of development on an asparagus stem.

The asparagus forest is a ladybug/ladybird nursery and I LOVE this.
Look at these little cuties!
#gardening #Toronto

This is so beautiful 🤩

A Small Tortoiseshell butterfly resting on leaves. The butterfly's wings are red, orange, yellow, black and blue, and pieces of the wings are missing.

A very worn Small Tortoiseshell butterfly seen near Stoney Littleton, near Bath. This species has declined by 86% since 1976. The reasons are uncertain, possibilities include a parasitic fly & climate change
#nature #wildlife #wildlifephotography #naturephotography #ukwildlife #bathnature #butterfly

I spoke to chatGPT for the first time this weekend about my MH stuff. Thought I’d try it out. It’s kinda depressing in a way how it sends super compassionate responses to what I’m saying. It’s more kind & caring than messaging an actual helpline. Feels weird & sad in a way. It did help a bit though.

Glad we don’t have to rush around for school in the morning. The kids will probably get me up early though. That’s always the way. When it’s a school morning, I have to pester them to get up, but come the weekend, they’re up at like half 6 raring to go.

Think the wind might’ve damaged whatever the roofers put up back when it was leaking last year. Guess we’ll find out when we get them to come back out! I’m sorry you’ve had issues too. It’s bloody annoying isn’t it.

The noise from the wind was frightening my eldest a bit, but he’s managed to go over thankfully.

Glad you managed to rescue it! We usually have flying trampolines around here when it’s this windy 😂

Oh just perfect. Our roof is leaking again.

I’m so sorry lovely 😞 sending you lots of love ♥️💕

Fair question!

Glad the assessment went well ♥️

I’m so sorry 😔 what was their justification for that decision? I hope you’re OK.

a small monkey is sitting on the ground with its arm outstretched . ALT: a small monkey is sitting on the ground with its arm outstretched .

Hey ♥️ sending you a big monkey cuddle

We got drenched on the way home from school. Terrible weather out there. The kids have got changed straight into their pyjamas. They both seem to have had an OK day at school.

Still feeling quite low & husband is working tonight too which is crappy. Hoping the kids will be OK for me tonight. I’m ordering them McDonald’s later.

We went shopping earlier & I managed to find two pairs of shorts in my size in the sale in Asda today, so they’ll do for our holiday.

Thanks Debs ♥️ puppy cuddles are the best.

Thanks so much ♥️