The Horseless Wonder

For not sexting back..,

Rigor mortis is like a second puberty. You’re rock hard all the time and girls find you disgusting

Jane Goodall was definitely a furry

why didn’t you try harder to get electrd

I bought a book on how to swallow your own body but it’s not written in a language I understand. The guy at the bookstore said you have to hit yourself on the head with a hammer every night and eventually it will start making sense

How Manuel Uribe became 1300lbs: he just stopped exercising

This is mean to pigs

Even if we could move we wouldn’t, we’re lazy piggies, that’s the way we’ve always been. As soon as we’re hungry he passes out another round of slop. All we have to do is swallow. It tastes like cum, but we like it

It’s filthy down here, with semen, shit, and piss. We‘re so close together we piss on each other’s backs and shit on each other’s stomachs. There aren’t any toilets here, and even if there were it wouldn’t matter, because none of us can move

There are others down here with me. Sometimes he comes down to tell us to oink. We always do what he says. I don’t know what he’d do if we disobeyed. He might take something away, but we’d get used to it. We oink because we love to oink, because we’re piggies

I can’t tell how fat I am. I imagine I’m over 900 pounds, but I haven’t seen my own body in years because my forehead fat has grown over my eyes. Sometimes he pulls my fupa back and cleans it with something, to prevent it from becoming stuck to my knees. One day he won’t bother

Just remembered those pro-stroke/ brain injury ads from a few years ago, with the drooling guys in wheelchairs saying stuff like “I feel better than ever!”

The weirdest was the one with the jingle that was targeted towards addicts:
“Have you gone bankrupt getting high?
Just give yourself a TBI!“

One thing people don’t know about me is I love snorting cocaine

Doggy! What was his surname.

that got me through all those miserable years was the thought that things would eventually get better, which they never did, and how I’m still just as lonely and still hate myself just as much as when I was 11, fucking cartoon rabbit, go eat some carrots or something

so I’ll shovel this stupid fucking colored cereal into my miserable piehole and pretend I have my whole life ahead of me, when actually it’s all behind me already, and pretend I’m a happy, carefree kid which I never was, and try to forget how the only thing

debilitating executive dysfunction, horrifying flashbacks, chronic derealization, brain fog, sexual repulsion, extreme anxiety, and let’s not forget anhedonia, an abiding sense that even if I won the lottery and got everything I ever dreamed of I’d still never be happy

Silly rabbit, Trix are for mentally stunted adults attempting in vain to recapture the supposed magic of their childhood, which was in fact horribly isolating and full of psychological, physical, sexual, and verbal abuse, and which resulted in a total inability to form or maintain relationships,

This is awful

I haven’t thought about Skrillex in a long time.

We live in a cockroach century!

This guy I know is a prochronophile, none of the women he’s dated have been born yet, some are 50,000 or 60,000 years younger than him

He says he loves their innocence, their ethereality, their bodilessness. They always leave him when they find out he’s a convicted rapist

How are you related to them?

I hate this site so much

The door is so distraught. It wants to take a selfie, to be in the foreground for once. It wants to join antifa and dye its wood purple and get carvings to piss off its treemom

I love reading a new book, especially one with a title. The authors are always so good.

a couple of them so severely they later drank themselves to death

So he drove his truck up to the city, found the highest skyscraper, jumped off and landed on two pedestrians, killing them, splattering blood and gore all across the sidewalk and into the street, traumatizing a group of schoolchildren,

A bedtime story? Alright little Hoyt. Well once upon a time ther was a feller so old and lonesome he went and jumped right off a cliff… when he hit the ground he was dumfounded, he wadn’t hurt none! He wanted to prove his powers to the big wide world.

That guy is the worst peacock