Melody (Mel)

rammy and lammy

devil or angel? #umjammerlammy

The benefits of pigeon watching

it’s only january 5th and my insurance is already fighting me on hrt coverage

US private healthcare is an active fucking joke

i’m feeling pretty alone again.

a year on hrt— which feels wild, but also it’s nice to be genuinely proud of something in your life

i made it a year, and i’m promising to dress more fem now, as a treat :)

i know i’m saying this about a shirtless bathroom picture.
at the same time, i actually used these pictures tonight to remind myself, “hey, if you think you’re cute enough to take a selfie then, you don’t need to stress now.” i was going to spiral, and turned it around instead. i’m proud of that :)

i’ve been having days of feeling gender euphoria, maybe for the first time in my life.

it’s wonderful, and amazing, and am i there yet? no. but that’s ok, i’m excited to find out where “there” is :)

oooo, zigzagoon

maybe the wildest

i really did pick a wild time to finally transition

a sketchpage of my OC Beef in various poses and one of them is sporting their excessively long tongue

✨ the freak ✨

i’m in such a better place in my life, and that’s almost exclusively because people in my lil online circles were kind and accepting and validating of me as Melody.

you all helped me be not-so scared (or at least a lil less scared than i would be otherwise)

on one hand, i’ve loved how far i’ve drifted from social media

on the other hand, i miss lots of friends (from the other site). if we used to chat, if we were friends, i want you to know i’ve almost certainly thought about you (even if we weren’t talking)

Happy Pride no matter what stage of you you’re at 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️✨

yesterday, i thrifted a dress that hugs me in alllll the right places

if anyone needs me, i’ll be riding this high for months :)

its fucking wild openly talking about my trans experience (and with coworkers/roommates, non the less)

10/10, absolutely wonderful ❤️

all that to say: i’m excited and happy for myself for the first time in a long time.

it’s one of the longest commitments i’ve ever made. the last decade of my life has LITERALLY all led to this. it’s a decision I made, and I choose to stick with. every dose is a reminder to myself that i CAN do something. i CAN be kind to myself.

more often than not lately, my hair has been sitting nicely, with kinda like messy, longer-pixie vibes. whiiich led to my first “oh they were right- it does get better” euphoria moment.

it’s wild how much hrt has done for my self esteem :)

also as a fun added fact, her fiance, who i’ve known and been friends with for almost 2 decades, immediately asked if he should use Melody now

i’ve been telling everyone “just Mel” so it like… for someone who’s known me *forever* to not even question a fully-femme name change meant a lot

so i haven’t told all my friends that i’m on hrt yet, and last night, i got clocked :)

i was told i’ve been looking better lately- specifically my face- and wouldn’t you know it, a little compliment’s all i needed to open up

good thing it’s easy to fix, and possibly get refunded.

just kidding again!! i have to contact my former employer, who then has to contact them, and i might not be refunded.

i sure do love the US healthcare system 🙃

wooo cobra told me i had 3 months post-last-employment’s end

just kidding though, it let me keep dental, and has been auto-charging me since november.

i’m moving away for a few months- i’m tempted to not tell my family, and then just come back *visibly* trans

wouldn’t acknowledge it or pretend i was any different, just let them know i’m gonna be myself now

honestly the SV artstyle has grown on me

love the ZA art direction from the trailer, Az’s new look and the player characters are great!! (yay older protagonists not wearing school uniforms— we’ll hopefully be able to dress up)

i love that, at 30, i still get *so* excited to sleep the night before pokemon day

gonna wake up to new babies 💕

i got the job you guys

there’s been a feeling in the pit of my stomach, since september. for the first time since, it’s gone :)

good *lord* gaga’s glambot at SNL50 tonight literally STUNNED me