JR Maxwell

a man standing in front of a building with a fast x logo ALT: a man standing in front of a building with a fast x logo

After not having owned a TV in a decade, I bought a 65" screen Black Friday 2021, thinking I would become obsessed like most humans.

Uh well I literally just opened the box and set it up for the first time. And all I'm looking forward to is watching all the Fast & Furious movies. 😂

a cartoon of homer simpson with a monkey in his mind ALT: a cartoon of homer simpson with a monkey in his mind

Learning Scrivener and Ellipsus at the same time is really testing the ol' cranium.

I think fandom broke @ellipsus.com 😬

snark snark snark

Just asked my 5 year old what she wants to be when she grows up

“I want to be a gargoyle!”

I’m taking this as a parenting win

I CAN DO THIS.

An inadequate picture of the smoke sky and the eerie 4 o'clock sun

The calendar flipped to August and boom, Apocalypse Season has begun.

The sun, which was eerily white in the smoke three hours ago for this picture, is now bright orange-red.

It'd be pretty if it didn't make me feel like we're fucked.

I don't know what other states' transportation departments are doing on social media but it cannot possibly be as good as ours. 😂😍

Today I'm proud of myself for actually applying for a job (especially when I was only only White Man qualified). It feels less personal than sending queries to publishing agents, but it's still a pain in the ass.

To practice what I preach: My mortgage is half my ~4400 USD/mo take-home pay. I have a 'good' job in a 'good' industry and live outside the 'expensive' city. My cats eat better than I do, bc that's what I can afford.

This is not a pity-party. This is just some perspective.

Start talking about money. I know it's awkward and we were taught it's rude. Suck it up. Because this is how capitalism works - If we don't talk about it, we don't question it.

People (mostly < 50) don't understand why I still keep a checkbook register.

This is why: Because otherwise, on payday it looks like I have loads of money. But that money is already mostly spoken for.

This is a concept not taught early and often enough. And only the credit card companies benefit.

I just spent 45 minutes filling out my ballot for next month's local elections. No party designations, tons of candidates, positions I know very little about - Port Commissioners? County Charters?

But voting against the anti-trans candidate for School Board made it all worthwhile. Fuck that guy.

It is really fucking tiring to be my only cheerleader.

a man wearing a wig and a hat is looking at the camera ALT: a man wearing a wig and a hat is looking at the camera

I don't care who you are, all three original 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movies have great fucking scores. I will FIGHT about this.

Why did no one tell me 'Wicked' is just a brutal takedown of white women through key changes

(see what I did there)
(it's a musical joke)
(key)
(changes)

How do I know my sister-in-law is over 50? She ended her voicemail telling me her phone number. 😂

And I just tried to watch a video and support a creator but the opening ad was fatphobic body shaming fuckery and I cannot this morning. I presume the creator has no control over which ads get shown during their videos, but tell that to my panic attack. ✌️

I always say I fuck up on the internet once every few years, because I'm human, and it was apparently time. God fucking damn it.

I made the MOST ENORMOUS internet faux pas last night while distracted by my new kitten and now I want to both cry and hide under the bed forever. Good thing there's a kitten under there already, she can keep me company. 💀💩😭😰😵‍💫🤮😬🫠

And I adore them. ❤️❤️❤️

The only part of roller derby I personally enjoy: the puns 😂

I hate fireworks so fucking much. So. Fucking. Much.

There was just a half-hour of loud unrelenting pops and bangs which sounded planned but that doesn't make it any less god damn awful for me or my cats. And on the 19th of July? Can't we be decent and plan them for actual holidays?

Oh no they just ignore you until they have a work reason to say anything. It makes the place weirdly lonely.

The sheer awkwardness of working in an office full of people who don't say 'Good morning'. It makes me feel about a hundred years old.

Corporate culture has changed, and it's not going back.

This also led to me having much more sympathy for BBC Sherlock's title character. So much of this reality is so monstrously dull.

Realized recently that I'm so good at being bored that I had stopped recognizing when I was bored; instead I was just wondering why I felt restless.

Turns out life is b-o-r-i-n-g most of the time. So. I'm working on that.

My newest adoptee cat came out from under the bed and hung out with me for a little while this morning!! I had to literally run to catch my train but it was WORTH IT. 😍😭🎉

bro they're playing your leitmotif pizzicato. there's a slow clarinet lurking beneath it. you better not be about to betray me right now i swear to god bro

Revenge procrastination is SO REAL.