Cassie Danger™

Coming out of hiding to say fuck Bad Boy as a staff, record label and as a motherfuckin' crew
And if you want to be down with Bad Boy, then fuck you too

Disinterested in pretending the pope isn’t always piece of shit, literally every time, just because *this* one said “free Palestine” a few times.

One like and I’ll wear this to brunch on Saturday.

He’s blending fish heads in his vitamix to make me bouillabaisse while I sip a drink and watch.

The joy of rewatching Girls is already knowing they’re all the fucking worst and just being able to lean into that.

Have you tried completely giving up and considering getting a hamster and some more houseplants? Because that’s what I did.

Like, imagine being known this well from jump.

Now CAMNALAM

I can’t possibly recommend getting a 6’4 queer boyfriend with a fat dick and high EQ who eats pussy on command enough. I love it here.

Dating with intention.

If I send this to you, know your demise is imminent and I’m already reveling in it.

(he got one question right)

Behind the scenes footage of @jarlva.bsky.social in my DMs mere moments after this was posted.

I absolutely dare you to try to best me in a big titty competition.

*tapping the sign*

Was gonna make a comment about having phone sex then realized the guy I was having it with can see what I say over here. 🤐

Popped the zipper with my titty like a can of Grands goddamn biscuits literally two seconds later.

Ok but mine are bigger.

This is going triple platinum in my texts right now.

What’s the action to signify “would chase with scissors” or “would flick it real hard with my stiletto nails in public”? Asking for myself cmere let’s fight ✂️

Let say someone has a fantasy that involves priests and confession. Would they like it? 😬

Watching your opp win a Grammy for calling you a pedophile is the funniest thing that’s ever happened. Like don’t even check on Drake, he is NOT ok 😂

I mean just @ me next time, coward.

It’s Black History Month!

Pay your reparations and know there will be a quiz for any yt men in my DMs.

The vibe today as I blew through Target.

I mean considering how much evidence is floating around of his creepiness, I doubt that. Probably writing a preemptive diss track no one will listen to. Or buying rope and a stool.

Camn I don’t need to fill anything until next month but I’m now terrified.

lol what do you think Drake is doing with his last weekend before K Dot calls him a pedophile in front of 100M people

Taking my rent autopay out on Friday night FIVE HOURS EARLY while I’m getting ready to hit the streets is absolutely nasty work.

Every one of those rows is tagged with my name. Kill me.