Not saying Iโd steal a corgi, but if one made prolonged eye contact and looked even slightly underappreciatedโฆ Iโve got a tote bag and questionsble morals.
01.08.2025 12:56 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0@waywardaudio.bsky.social
I am a human teapot of English stereotypes, steeped in sarcasm and self-delusion. I act, I game, I embarrass myself.
Not saying Iโd steal a corgi, but if one made prolonged eye contact and looked even slightly underappreciatedโฆ Iโve got a tote bag and questionsble morals.
01.08.2025 12:56 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0"We shouldnโt."
โฆOkay, but consider this: what if we did? ๐ค๐ #WhatIfWeJustKissed #WaywardAudio
youtu.be/g_utPwqtbic
๐ Midnight picnic? A little odd, but okay.
๐ Every single one of my favourite foods? Suspicious.
๐ก Abandoned funfair where we first met? Very suspicious.
๐ You keep looking at me like you know something I donโt? Alarming.
๐ก Oh. Oh no. Youโre about to say something, arenโt you?
youtu.be/Um8xHinF-RA
Wayward: "You know, I've heard of people cremating their enemies... but pineapple? What did the poor fruit do to deserve this?"
You: "You like pineapple on pizza."
Wayward: "Yes, but preferably without a Viking funeral."
youtu.be/0dgqLzKrPtg
When shadows close in and the world feels too heavy, will you let yourself lean on someone who refuses to let you fall?
youtu.be/uwr7ikfXtVY
WAYWARD: I did not drink something dangerous from the fridge.
YOU: You did.
WAYWARD: No... Yes. Yes, I did. Oh no. What colour was the truth potion again?
youtu.be/WVPrUMsbgOs
Picture this: You smash through a skylight to save the day, only for your "victim" to thank you... and then casually reveal theyโre the mastermind behind the entire kidnapping.
youtu.be/LV2PekGH-gY
Found in the break room:
"Catherine broke the printers again. Black market cake meet-up at 2 PM. Bring tea. Shh!"
youtu.be/q5-GTpCMxvM
Wayward: Oh, good morning.
You: Isnโt it a bit early for...
Wayward: Shhh, no questions. Just cuddles. Or else the pout comes out.
youtu.be/onyywoq3WCw
Pouting? Me? Oh, Iโm pouting. I need something to cuddle. But if youโre here now, maybe Iโll give the pillow a rest.
youtu.be/ejmHA1g0g1s
Morning person? Sure, if 'person who didnโt sleep' counts.
05.01.2025 03:22 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0Captain: โAre you sure this will work?โ
Me: Spins in circles โAbsolutely. The moon is calling me.โ ๐๐ฆ
Honestly, I have no idea if Iโm leading us home or just to the nearest light bulb. โจ๐ก youtu.be/YA0A6pnoh5g
#FollowTheWings #ShinyCaptain #WaywardAudio
Favourite mug: destroyed. Emotional stability: gone. Evil plans: imminent.
04.01.2025 04:15 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0Me: โIโm in love with you.โ
Them: hits me in the face trying to be romantic
If we survive this, Iโm writing a survival guide... for love, not zombies. ๐๐ง
youtu.be/6wvPLJqpChE #FacePalmRomance #WaywardAudio
Oh sweetheart, I didnโt kidnap you. I rescued you. Thereโs a difference. Ask the FBI... if they catch me. ๐๐จ youtu.be/ZVzL18tdhW4 #NotALoveCrime #WaywardAudio
01.01.2025 19:03 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0Look, itโs New Yearโs Eve. Champagne happened. Magic happened. My tail happened. Donโt question it, just pet it. ๐พโจ
youtu.be/PQ3HhXwz9tQ #FurryButFlawless #WaywardAudio
New year, same regrets. But hey, theyโre vintage now.
01.01.2025 02:39 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0