miss bloom

wanna tell him all my secrets. how i haven't touched myself in weeks because it doesn't compare to his touch. how this Allegra Krieger song reminds me of us. how i can imagine us living together

drew a spiral with my finger in the soil in my backyard

dreamt he captured a very large and hairy spider but i knew the spider was actually a cat in the shape of a spider

it appears that geese will be keeping me awake again.. the moon must be driving them all a bit wild (relatable)

however - i can feel myself still tending to play it cool

the hardest thing for me to say is not i love you but i miss you - for the latter sort of translates to i want/need you which feels like asking for something (whereas i love you feels like not even a mere statement, but a Fact) (dependence vs independence)..

the moment he said it was perfect as i myself felt very beautiful in that moment too.. so i could only believe that he meant it

gonna volunteer to chauffeur /accompany / emotionally support women getting an abortion

i did the forbidden thing. removed all political content from my instagram timeline because i was falling down the doomscroll spiral

want to watch him touch himself for me. love indicator

I'm feeling a desire to cry in front of him, and see what it would arouse in him

I've been feeling more and more like i love him.. or something

'free bleeding' is a scam if it involves underwear or any sort of pants; might as well be wearing a pad. i will only accept use of the term free bleeding if the blood is running down your leg!

my lover who never before said a word during sex said "you're so beautiful" as i was riding him last night ♡

lunar new year's eve..

he is exposing many of my fears to me

he asked me if i think there is love between us. i absolutely do, but i didn't dare say it.. (i said i felt there was a possibility for it to come to be in the future) (I'm wondering if i regret this)

my lover can't come with me when i go buy my car so he arranged for his older brother to come and negotiate a good price for me ♡...

woke up together by the open window, listened to the birds sing

i imagine it would feel like being loved

id love to be studied like a lab animal

love to do things with my mouth.. it's energy/tension release. frustration = chewing on my lips, ripping my cuticles with my teeth, eating my cheeks from the inside, licking my lover (randomly & intentionally)

forgive me lord for i have jinxed

i suspect it is also in me. it pertains to a natural order. but mine originates from nature shaped by cosmos and his (partly, in addition to the former) from nature shaped by the patriarchy

there is a hint of conservatism in him that, as of yet & inexplicably, does not seem to bother me

dreamt of a guy who looksmaxxed so much he ended up looking like a sort of forest/swamp demon

my biggest hobby is Reaching An Essence (so do not equate my questioning with criticising/undermining; I'm inviting you to march with me towards my place of bliss)

my driving force in conversation: do you truly & wholly agree with what you're saying?

conversation for the sake of crystallisation

when I'm with him i forget what my face looks like