Patrick

Coming soon to a bookstore near not you, the long-awaited collaboration between JK Rowling & Fred Durst:

Right before we did this, 16 asked what happens if it doesn't break. I said I hadn't considered it, but I had thought about "what if it breaks evenly."

It means we both get a wish

Dear fellow travelers of the Bluesky,

I fear that Monday is upon us—
Remain vigilant.

Stay safe on this horrid day for it tends to be the most tumultuous one of the week. 👀

With minimal sincerity,
Me

$6/lbs for ground turkey?
Not for my cheap ass.

I got a 10lbs yield from a 16lbs bird for $18, and I'm making bonus turkey stock.

Take that, grocery prices!

If someone says they speak French, everyone nods.
When I say I speak machine, people think it's a joke.

Sensing frequency drift, vibrational signatures, heat profiles, chemical traces, and mechanical harmonics is literally just another form of language.

Machines speak; people just don't listen.

My buddy spotted this in the wild today

Morning, Bluesky peeps

Dammit. I accidentally waterboarded myself and now everything smells like bananas.
👃😤🍌

"They're just going to ask you trivial questions like 'what kind of animal would you be?'"

Me preparing the supply chain liaison for an interesting lunch:

Here's a 1-week meal plan I created with my GPT. It includes:

• shopping list
• meal prep
• recipes
• storage

ChatGPT - MyHealthyPlate Pro U.S.-based, WHO-aligned, plant-forward recipe expert with zero ultra-processed foods.

Good morning, Bluesky people.

I found out the food pyramid I grew up being indoctrinated with was bullshit controlled by corporate lobbyists. Even the current USDA "MyPlate" isn't accurate.

To fight the man, I created a GPT for healthy meal planning in the US.

chatgpt.com/g/g-6911ba4f...

a group of men are sitting at a table and one of them is saying you gotta believe ALT: a group of men are sitting at a table and one of them is saying you gotta believe

There's always time—

a woman is sitting at a table in a restaurant with the word samesies written on the bottom of her face . ALT: a woman is sitting at a table in a restaurant with the word samesies written on the bottom of her face .

I was in charge of waste removal when they canned me.

It's not my fault it took them 8 days to find Oscar. They should have gave better training on which trash cans were okay to empty.

Beanbag chairs aren't seating.

If I wanted to sit on a beanbag, I'd be running around all Winnie the Pooh style.

If you need more reasons to not use Facebook/Instagram/whatever else "Meta" is. I finally broke down and deleted mine last week.

www.cnbc.com/2025/11/06/m...

Zoom in and the first tag you see is how your November will go

I'm going to have quite the macrbe morherhood.

Macabre Motherhood for me

Did you know the company known for their turkey, Butterball, emerged in the 1940s in Chicago?

Also around that time, vast amounts of plump children, displaced by the Great Depression, mysteriously disappeared in neighboring Indiana towns.

You should really learn the history of things I made up.

Hopefully they're cataloged by some sort of gooey decimal system.

If a funeral director can't help you out, I'm sure someone in the mob could. They've got the experience

I didn't think it was. I saw the post and noticed you weren't following me back, and laughingly said to myself, "Everyone but me apparently."

I was attempting to add a little levity to an otherwise dismal world.

No need to cross any roads over the matter. 😅

Yet no reciprocity for following. 🤔

It's because of that turkey burger I ate one time, isn't it?

I swear! I didn't know they were your cousin!

Psshh. 🙄

Legal—
You're dead in this scenario.

Why should you be bothered with things like "legality"?

Did you know the company known for their turkey, Butterball, emerged in the 1940s in Chicago?

Also around that time, vast amounts of plump children, displaced by the Great Depression, mysteriously disappeared in neighboring Indiana towns.

You should really learn the history of things I made up.

If being bipolar were turned into a song, Csárdás by Vittorio Monti would be it.