REVENGER G/T

things are pretty bad, master chief. We’re about to get boarded. I need you to come over in this red square and tell me if you want your neck to work like a human being or like the mad catz joystick your uncle used to play Microsoft flight simulator while he was going through his divorce

sorry I’m late. I caught the middle of baywatch rerun and I had to unseal the hushed casket

I talked so much shit on Robert Pattinson when I was sixteen and he made an absolute fool out of me so many movies over

I always turn it off before it gets to this part because it’s too scary

"I hear you all ask 'bout the meaning of scat Well, I'm the professor, and all I can tell you is While you're still sleepin', the saints are still weepin' 'cause Things you call dead haven't yet had the chance to be born I'm the Scatman"

Most of the song is about believing in yourself and being confident but in the third verse, the Scatman starts uttering frightening prophecies

I can watch this an infinite number of times and never not laugh

Fuck

Alright, it’s settled. Zorak is the hammer, Moltar you suck

This car is having a negative effect on my personality. I know for a fact that before last week I never referred to the left lane as “The Big Dog” lane

Finally pulling the trigger on some IDW characters in a game is pretty cool

Giddy the fuck up

Oh I didn’t even read the whole article, the fact that the actual writers are having trouble with this concept is embarrassing

easily the biggest mistake of the Craig movies imo is messily stitching them all together and making them dependent on each other. Horowitz surely does not know what he’s talking about and Bond will just be back like normal because it’s not a follow-up to the Craig movies

it’s not clocking to you that I’m at Renkol’s house in Brachy Town

I was really surprised when he came back and did more of this character! I consider it an unbelievable crime that we didn’t get like forty cobbled-together episodes of the original show

Get me Dr. Rick Dagless M.D. *NOW*! Yes, I’ll hold

prior to my purchase of this 2023 vehicle the newest car I’ve ever owned is from 2007, which means I am wholly unprepared for the amount of Knight Rider shit they’re cramming into cars now

My WRX’s ludicrous keyless entry fobs use the same battery as the Dreamcast’s ludicrous VMU

I get paid to do two things: Shoot the shit and drop the hammer. And I’m excellent at both

Oh the wraith kicks ass

I genuinely appreciate you saying this

Facebook keeps showing me my old posts and looking back I guess it’s sort of understandable why the corporate people at my old job (many of whom are still Facebook friends) were not keen on promoting me

love that this falls under “frequently asked questions”

I think my dad’s pissed at me about a Facebook post I made but he’s never gonna bring it up because I’m 33 years old and very mean when provoked

I was absolutely taken with it, it’s very good

His Marlowe movie is not my favorite Chandler adaptation (The Long Goodbye and James Garner’s Marlowe are the two I put on the most) but The Big Sleep still rocks

I mean I’m not surprised, I love Humphrey Bogart in everything else I’ve ever seen him in, but goddamn