Robert B. (he/him)

if you told me that was a @horsedisc.bsky.social post i would have believed you

i lived in a Bezirk for a semester and it was the best time of my life

A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BELL PEPPERS

it’s the cir~~~cle of stu~~~~~~ff

i think the technical term is intinction 😌

i recently got back into VS after you posted about it but I still can’t get more than ~15 minutes 😭

not only is he now indisputably the most popular and funniest person named Robert making short-form video content related (but not limited) to classical music, but if we’re really in a fitness arms race (his words/pun) he’s definitely winning 💖

Robert flexes in a mirror wearing a pink t shirt that says “Mos Eisley 10K Marathon”

my collection of workout shirts with subtle nerdy references is lost on my fellow gym-goers, I fear

😏😏😏

hot wheels x busytown crossover WHEN??

in a way i was relieved when they confirmed it was AI because at least this isn’t their actual authorial voice 😅

an excerpt from a post by a redacted Hevy user: “Leg day always feels like the most honest day. No hiding. No shortcuts. Squats don't care about your mood or excuses. You either show up and do the reps clean, or you don't. Today was 4 sets of barbell squats to set the tone - tight bracing, controlled reps, no sloppy work. Then came the burn: leg extensions and lying leg curls. Two sets each, simple but brutal when you do them right. No momentum, no cheating — just making the muscle work and staying in it when it gets uncomfortable. Finished the real way: barbell Romanian deadlifts and calf extensions. RDLs are one of the best movements there is for building a strong posterior chain, and I'm training for strength that holds up - not just a look. Calves too... always underrated, but they matter for durability, stability, and running. Nothing flashy about today. Just hard, honest work. I'm not chasing perfection - I'm chasing consistency. Showing up, training smart, building strength that actually means something.”

right? like bro save it for l*nkedin…

a conversation between Robert and a redacted Hevy user Robert: “just idle curiosity: which LLM do you use when writing your captions? [redacted]: “yes, they are super helpful at converting stream of consciousness speech to text to a well structured post. This one used ChatGPT, but I also use Cluade, [sic] Gemini, Copilot and others. Which ones do you use for yours? Robert: “oh, I just write the ol'-fashioned way”

there’s something so existentially bleak about using an LLM to write your social media posts, but on HEVY‽‽! of all places??? what are we even doing here at this point

is it possible to learn this power

i only know because it’s our parish’s annual meeting and we always have it on the same Sunday as the Big Game®

as a person who grew up in LA in the 80s and 90s this activated me like a sleeper agent

i have such a love/hate relationship with that lift in particular 😅😅

“it is meet and right so to do” slaps hard ngl

“wow…crazy…you crazy, girl”

Idk who needs to hear this but ACAB includes ancient aliens

seize (fondle) the means of production (balls)

i know it’s often done in jest, but i’ll go one further and say that one cannot self-identify as a himbo. that level of self-awareness is definitionally antithetical to the true spirit of the himbo and a diminishment of the same.

makes me want to replay Dark Cloud 💖

screenshot of an instagram ad with on-screen text reading “hey Catholic gamers”

*audience chanting* OH! SO! CLOSE!

when we consider changing the Lord’s Prayer to contemporary language for a season:

sheet music showing three voice parts signing “come on fathers”

i know some of you are into that (hey, no judgement) but in this context a comma would have gone a long way

Robert poses in a mirror wearing a blue shirt with green leaves and white vines

my husband got me this knit polo for christmas and i was skeptical at first but he ate i fear

a bookshelf with a single book laying on top of the others, titled “Why You Hear What You Hear”

♫♪♫
said the night wind to the little lamb:

a cropped portion of a reddit ad reading “get your head in the trade”

not on *my* Christian Minecraft server!!1!