cyber / xenon 💿

i was happy for like 10 mins and now im sad again

im scared if its worse then it just wasnt worth getting excited for fuck broooo im so stressed

im kind of scared though, someone in my forms said they're rlly excited and "IF THIS IS GOING TO BE AS GOOD AS SEA OF DECEIT ITS GOING TO BE PEAK AS HELL" it probably wont be better than sea of deceit and its kind of pressuring me now

i want a dog again maybe i can relieve my childhood that got ruined by my dad

i like being happy and acting like a child even if i seem immature i want to have more fun more activities

2 submissions to join my game already im so happy im really giddy right now i feel like a child all over again asking people to come to my birthday party

ihate that i dont have a set personality dude

best thing of having fun responsibilities is that i cant suicide anymore because i need to finish my bsky game before doing so

imtoo much of a pussy to do that lmfao

what if i just disappeared i change my name i move countries i burn all my belongings and memories i leave every relationship i made over the years and i delete every one of my contacts

myfriend is ignoring me is that sign to kill myself

i wanna die so bad im so tired of living everything makes me tired i cant do this anymore im too drained

but i only feel guilt for yelling at my bf , nobody else uughhghh im a horrible fucking person dude

everything is pissing me off lately like yesterday i fully burst into tears and like started screaming at my group members then i left the groupchat and then later my bf tried comforting me but i was too upset and started yelling at him too

imso annoyed stop bothering me dude fuck you i hope something bad happens to you like fuck off stop forcing me to do stuff i dont want to and getting mad at me i already told you politely are u deadass . literally go die

i wish people could just shut the fuck up i want to zip people's mouth shut i wish i could like i just want to grab hotglue and glue their mouth fucking shut

escaped death once again! yay!

me and my bottle of water i bring to the bathroom with me cuz i have a high chance of fainting be buddies 4 life

flowermy best friend htthat i havent tslked to fgor a while now texted me happy birthday and that she loves me . imso happy she remembers ☹💗

THANKYOU

THANK YOU!! i think someone should perform a royale high magic spell

myhead HURTS

U CAN !! i can normally sense a bad feeling from people and i wouldnt interact then a few months later they turn out to actually be a bad person, its like your body's kind of sensing to keep u from danger

euhgahsuha life sucks but im probably going through sadness rigth now then hit with like a burst of euphoria later on

also we're all just body bags with blood and flesh in it, we're walking meat, we're fragile. humans doesnt deserve to be known as the "smartest / strongest species"

whats the reasoning that only we as humans have a soul and purpose, does other living things not have a soul and purpose too ??? or are they made to serve humans because we're the only species on earth that actively destroys our home yet we still look for comfort in greed, we take without giving

humans are animals and will always be animals, we're all the same beings as what we consider 'lowly creatures' like if anything we're as pathetic as animals because if evolution is just natural selection, what logic do we have to believe we're smarter than other intelligent beings ???

i WILL turn into a machine one day i dont wanna be human anymore i wanna be some divine machinery i want to be an angel with wires instead of veins

technically everything we've experienced is a construct of what our brain thinks the universe is, we never ever get to experience the real universe for ourselves

what if im the only conscious person alive and everyone else are robots