If a smile is cracked and there is nobody around to see it, does it still spread joy?
Yes
If a smile is cracked and there is nobody around to see it, does it still spread joy?
Yes
A Sloan sink faucet, a Kimberly Clarke soap dispenser, and a Dyson Airblade hand dryer? Yep, going to the movies is back.
03.01.2026 17:39 ā š 2 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0I haven't had a new uncle in 15+ years. This has been hell
09.10.2025 15:45 ā š 6 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0
Me before da movie "One Battle After Another" and then me after da movie OBAA (One Battle After Another")
09.10.2025 14:40 ā š 4 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0
all "trumpers" are a little lost if you ask me....
02.10.2025 22:54 ā š 5 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0Wiping my ass on the toilet paper roll like a bear rubbing his back on a tree
23.09.2025 17:00 ā š 0 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0Eating diarrhea-like foods to trick my body to stop making diarrhea
23.06.2025 18:10 ā š 0 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0Wearing my Got Poop? shirt into the bathroom so the guys in there know I'm serious
04.06.2025 00:49 ā š 1 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0Just reaching out to see if you have a beautiful wife or not
03.06.2025 16:10 ā š 3 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0My car is probably so happy when I don't get into accidents
02.06.2025 02:16 ā š 3 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0Hey man the department store called and they said they're all out of you
01.06.2025 23:02 ā š 3 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0I wish there were an electric chair big enough for that purple fucking dinosaur
19.05.2025 21:21 ā š 1 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0It's a really nice day out if you know where to look
17.05.2025 14:25 ā š 3 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0
Husband to 1
Father to 3
Boss to 2 (both named Michael)
Good place to study
07.05.2025 20:24 ā š 2 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0
07.05.2025 19:59 ā
š 7
š 1
š¬ 1
š 0
There's not such thing as a bad crumb. Scientists have never been able to find one
23.04.2025 16:05 ā š 3 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0
I can already feel my mind expanding
14.04.2025 15:01 ā š 4 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0
Something to take the edge off
04.04.2025 18:08 ā š 4 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0
A federal judge just blocked me from peeing every time I poop and ordered me to poop every time I pee
Do you guys like this one
The toilet is my therapy. The bidet is my Prozac. The back of shampoo bottles are my self-help books
31.03.2025 13:49 ā š 4 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0At the backyard BBQ begging the kids to throw a water balloon at my crotch because Iām about to piss my pants
29.03.2025 21:01 ā š 2 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0Jet's has no idea about to call them to order a pizza. They're in for such a treat
28.03.2025 22:39 ā š 0 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0*trying to convince my friend McDonald to come out to dinner with me* come on man, I've got some dinner with your name on it
26.03.2025 01:28 ā š 1 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0
Guess where I am
25.03.2025 19:00 ā š 7 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0yeah I'm addicted to soda....soda pants to my body so I don't have to wear a belt anymore
25.03.2025 15:12 ā š 4 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0
Is this really what she's up to
20.03.2025 15:56 ā š 2 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0I feel bad for my toilet when I'm at work all day
19.03.2025 21:27 ā š 3 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0Getting my diaper changed for personal reasons
12.03.2025 21:01 ā š 1 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0Congrats on your son's first birthday. The playlist I made on March 1st, 2024 also just recently had a birthday
12.03.2025 01:39 ā š 0 š 0 š¬ 0 š 0