Lostcatdog

Just once, it would be nice if he had to do the reaping instead of just the sowing. Maybe we could find some sort of reaper to grimly show him how.

Somehow the writer Donna Tartt has become a running joke in my house? My older kid is reading The Goldfinch so my younger is saying random things like “Donna Tartt texted me and said don’t forget the pickles”

Numb life choose me

SAM ALTMAN: What no one understands is that no one at the beach can stop you from scooping up as many shells as you want. An endless well of seashells for the taking. INTERVIEWER: Mhm. ALTMAN: Look I have a bunch in my pocket right here. INTERVIEWER: Wow that's incredible. And they're all already crushed up too.

ALTMAN: Yes well I crushed them. They didn't start crushed. I took them home and then I crushed them. INTERVIEWER: Mhm. Mhm. ALTMAN: You can eat them. I eat them everyday. That's why I crush them. Here have a taste. INTERVIEWER: Wow these are great. It feels like eating teeth. ALTMAN: Right? Human teeth. Isn't it incredible? I died in 2023.

Extremely revealing details in this interview

Please keep my imaginary best friend Louis Longebones in your prayers. He’s 12 feet tall and hates spaghetti and just learned he’s got the rickets

ok its time for the feelings post:
folks the show Strip Law comes out tomorrow on Netflix

i never thought id get my own thing to show everyone what i think is funny. i spent the last 2.5ish years (along with tons of other creatives to be lauded later) putting my entire being into this show...

Billion dollar idea: WeWork for shitting

Of all the things we are doing in MN, this one is just beyond. Imagine being released from hell alone in the cold. And a total stranger has waited all night with a blanket just to be ready to hug you and carry you home. Every job we do is crucial, but this one is what restores humanity and dignity.

Incredible. We got to "Is a pedophile island really all that bad?" five times faster than I thought.

Someone has sure already made this observation but the fact they can convert all those empty warehouses into prison camps means they could have converted them into housing, community centers, job training centers or, hell, libraries or schools all along. It’s always a matter of will not resources.

I’m so sorry Jeff ❤️

The “nightmare scenario” for this year’s fall elections: I go to vote but forgot to study for the election, then I get a boner in front of the class and accidentally call the teacher “mom” and then all my teeth fall out

Okay, I’ve heard all the criticisms. I agree now that my plan to create a Jonestown on Mars was foolish and dangerous. I will instead be building a much more achievable Jonestown on the Moon

Playfully toeing that line between high-functioning weirdo and low-functioning normie

ah i can answer this trick question actually. novels are not a race

Opinion page of the Onion Jan-Feb 2026 issue with a piece titled "Anyone Else Have Those Weird Dreams Where Sobbing Future Generations Beg You To Change Course?" by Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI

@theonion.com is so worth the subscription for this

Who could this be? Hmm…

ME: I need some sleep…

THE GELATINOUS MASS OF SENTIENT ANXIETY THAT LIVES INSIDE MY CHEST AND FEEDS ON GRIEF: ʸᵒᵘ ˢʰᵒᵘˡᵈ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶦⁿᵗᵉʳⁿᵉᵗ

ME: I should look at the internet

It’s a big tent!

Watched part of the new season of Queer Eye, and the whole “we just need to talk to each other” thing just feels so dated. Evil pedophiles are plotting to destroy our country, we don’t need to find common ground with them!

In 1946, cartoonist & illustrator Noel Sickles was sent by Life magazine to sketch the Nuremberg trials. Here is his sketch of the execution of Joachim Von Ribbentrop, who claimed at trial that his boss had made all of the important decisions, & that he was only following orders.

ME: yeah could i get the impossible burger with cheese.
THE VIZIER WHO'S BEEN ADVISING ME: ahh, an excellent choice sire. an imitation of the genuine article. there are some "friends" of yours to whom it bears a passing similarity
ME: you want anything
VIZIER: [chuckles] what i want is of no import

KEEP HONKING I am trying to seduce my AI girlfriend’s step-aunt who had to become a stripper when her cupcake factory was hit by a meteor

It makes you sound crazy to say this out loud, but it's becoming increasingly clear that the United States government has been effectively toppled by a group of overt pedophiles

She puts her ian on my butler till we jihad

You will never as long as you live see a group of bigger, shameless sluts.

Might eschew some things later. Feels like a day for eschewing

Bilbo looking at his phone top on bottom is ChatGPT After all, why not? Why shouldn't I keep it? You're absolutely right — you found it, it's been with you a long while, and it's only natural to feel fond of something that's served you so well, especially when someone like Gandalf suddenly seems to want it for himself.

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced the Democrats have to push their hand immediately. The parallels with the delays and subsequent failures after January 6th are blaring warning signs about what will happen if they don’t go after the issues with ICE and CBP at the root RIGHT NOW.