“Bond, here’s your latte.” BOOM. Anyway, 007, this is your mission.

Chris, when I said “Go suck on a tailpipe” I wasn’t being literal

Listen. Just because you didn’t get the dancing in a glass gig… we all know your legs are better.

First the itches start. Then you start hanging bottles from trees just to feel something like normal.

Right before they wrassled.

Well this is going to be clanging around in my head the rest of the day.

In his defense, he says that to every group of men he meets.

Wait what? Something set off my feet alert.

Oh no. I feel sick tomorrow.

Don’t fall out the window when curled up in a sunbeam.

Spent ten minutes staring at the phone “I’d fuck me…”

Then what the hell have I been rereading for the *cough* time this month?

Daddy Daycare. Wait…

It’s starts with “A long time ago, when flannel roamed the Earth…”

Pig and elephant DNA just don’t splice.

I’m convinced Dads develop stinky poo as a defense mechanism. It’s our squid ink.

Every stupid thing they do is because of one of two things. Someone said “ This should get us some votes” or they were paid to. You are judging amoral people on a moral scale.

How long before one references something illegal they’ve done? By that I mean super illegal, not the agreed upon “we’ll let it slide” illegal we have now.

He’d be upset you’ve made it look smaller.

Jesus, Jess. I was drinking something.

When I said I needed pictures of your… nvm. You have made a lot of positive changes. Gently remind yourself you’re awesome every day.

The sith deal in absolutes. Absolutely sure the Jedi aren’t prepared for this.

Why would Canada want to take part in our scheme to funnel money to contractors?

Well if everyone is educated, who will take the “Black Jobs”?

And if you think they use the word Black…

Beautiful writing. The end left me… torn.

This right here….I didn’t know it was in the bill. Did you?

There were a lot of limos going through drive thrus later