Zach Peterson

I should be shamed for doing comedy regardless of where I’m at.

Those people talk like parents whose kids went no contact.

James Fritz - Old Man Yells at Crowd Listen to Old Man Yells at Crowd by James Fritz.

New album out today on @aspecialthing.bsky.social Thank you to everyone who ever gave me stage time, everyone who ever laughed, everyone who ever recoiled, the sun, the moon and the stars

lnk.to/yellsatcrowd...

Idea for a restaurant: Benihana but instead of a hibachi grill, we have a George Foreman grill that is manned by a shirtless guy in boxing gloves that entertains the table.

Sorry for interrupting you opening your lootcrate but you have to sign these custody papers.

Never do I feel more like an entitled prick than when an automatic door doesn’t open

Radishes taste like hot dirt.

Turnstile sounds like if Snapcase started taking their meds.

I bet being dead feels exactly like scrolling on your phone.

A movie about the dog who is best at sitting: Chair Bud.

We should invest in high speed rail, the murder mysteries alone justifies the time, effort and money.

Sure, they may not do the best job, but you can’t beat the price of circumcisions at sports clips

Hello? Hello? Is this the hotline I call to report my wife being careless with a bag of tortilla chip, so now they are in such small pieces that I look like I’m testing cocaine to make sure it’s real on my gums, when I eat them?

Sorry guys I have to log off. I gotta go take my dick hole medicine.

Zuck: the average American has three friends.

It’s financial literacy month. so time to teach some money to read.

Frankenstein’s monster truck.

Omaha!! Thursday and Friday!!

Omaha!! Thursday and Friday!!

How long do you have to be in an escape room to claim squatter’s rights?

I think if I ever tried lean or model trains it would be all I ever talked about.

Still talking about the same thing - because it makes content and I’m supposed to make that.

#standupcomedy #funkopop #vhs #vhstapes #whocares

Orange Theory hasn’t been peer reviewed.

New @stopitpod.bsky.social with @davidthegay.bsky.social

Full episodes on YouTube Spotify @ Apple Podcasts - links at www.stopitpod.com

🙏🏻🙏🏻

A million listens on the record. Hey that’s cool.

A part of it, as how human are of livestock to the ultra terrestrial much like the goats in lumen

This is the best explanation I found of the ideas it was on Reddit

“There are ultra-terrestrials controlling everything from a spectrum beyond our cognition - that exists outside our time/space and that cryptids, UFOs and manifestations of "God" are simply higher vibrations of this spectrum that, when they choose to - somehow solidify themselves into our dimension”