Chris Uttenweiler

A digital sign in a snowy landscape displays two messages: "DO NOT LET MOOSE" and "LICK YOUR CAR."

Don’t let hippos sniff mopeds
Or a deer chew your bike
Hide big wheels from gators
They know what they like
Geese love to rub rowboats
Ducks will tickle your van
Rabbits snuggle with tractors
Whenever they can
Squirrels smooch skateboards
If a door’s left ajar
And whatever you do

Can we just round up all the fucking pedophiles, regardless of bank accounts or political affiliation, and toss them in jail? Maybe not start another fucking war to distract from the Child-Fucker-in-Chief’s dalliances? 🖕🏻

Damn. I get to work in a beautiful part of the country.

I can now drive a Firetruck. 🚒 🚨

(I won’t be driving one in the streets anytime soon but I’m certified to drive one on an obstacle course!) #26000LbAutocross

I don’t CARE what color your tie is: If you’re in the files, you should be in jail.

Ukrainian envoy says US raised concerns about strikes aimed at Russia that impacted US oil interests The U.S. State Department has expressed its displeasure about Ukraine’s recent attacks on the ⁠ Russian port of Novorossiysk on the Black Sea that have impacted U.S. oil interests in ⁠Kazakhstan, Kyiv...

Why the flying fuck does the US have ANY financial interests in Russia at this point? And to the rich assholes that do: Fuck you, and I hope Ukraine burns it to the ground. Love, A Cold War Kid.

A sign with the text "PLEASE NO DUCKS" featuring an illustration of a duck and two smaller ducks, enclosed in a red prohibition circle.

You can tickle the penguins
And get them to laugh
You can just sing a song
To amuse the giraffes
Just a little soft-shoe
Will delight the woodchucks
But try as you might
You can’t

God, I feel this in my soul.

Attention:

The phrase "You can't make this shit up" has been officially changed to "Most of us were too smart to consider something so stupid".

a man in a suit and tie is wearing a crown and saying yeah boyy ! Alt: Flavor Flav says YEAH BOOYYYEEEE,!!!

If the USA Women’s Hockey team wants a real celebration and invite ,,, I’ll host them in Las Vegas. Do some nice dinners and shows and good times.

I’m sure I can get a hotel and airline to help me out here and celebrate these women for real for real. 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾

If a man in his 40s suddenly starts going to the gym every day, cooking his own meals, and spending time alone, something important is happening — and it's almost always the opposite of a crisis - Sil... When a man in his 40s starts quietly restructuring his entire life, the people around him almost always misread it — and that misreading says more about our culture than it does about him.

“I think about my father’s generation [GenX IMHO] and how they expressed everything through providing — through working, through showing up, through grinding it out for thirty years without ever once asking themselves whether they were okay.”

gabe from the office: SHUT UP ABOUT THE SNOW SHUT UP ABOUT THE SNOW

How Much Do You Really Gain By Delaying Social Security Benefits? The experts say wait to claim Social Security. But interest rates have reduced the payoff. Here are four questions to ponder before making a decision.

The experts say wait. But interest rates have reduced the payoff. Here are four questions to ponder before making a decision.

Me too man… but I’ve heard it, and rolled my eyes at it many a time. Lol

… the same people also tend to be mystified by the Metric system too, so there’s that as well.

FWIW - Lotsa folks that can’t wrap their heads around national social programs have uttered some form of “I pity your tax rate.” It’s usually cruder, like “at least we don’t pay European taxes,” or “at least we’re free…” or some such drivel. 🤷‍♂️

This one hits hard.

Tree tops and sunrises, not townhouses and streetlights.

The U.S. spent $30 billion to ditch textbooks for laptops and tablets: The result is the first generation less cognitively capable than their parents | Fortune Neuroscientist Jared Cooney Horvath said older generations “screwed up” giving students access to so much technology: “I genuinely hope Gen Z quickly figures that out and gets mad.”

This move had nothing to do with the education of kids - it was about reducing CapEx and OpEx around logistics.

I’ve been railing against this bullshit for years. Being able to work with technology and supporting cognitive development are 2 different things.

Agreed! Inject a “mystery death” to everyone else but the audience every season? Brilliant.

He stated flatly that Salman Rushdie should die.

He later said that he cleverly framed his reply, and didn’t mean it. However he said numerous times that he’d rat him out, turn him in, find someone who’d hurt him.

I’d judge him a lot less harshly if he’d own what said and acknowledge a change.

The myth that women are more naturally empathetic than men Scientific research is up-ending age-old gender stereotypes about empathy – and revealing new ways of thinking about masculinity.

As with most things… nature, nurture, and meditation.

True, and agreed. He has done good work. However, his decades long denial of and lack of ownership of what he said and what he supports, colors his honor as a human being, but not his talent.

The job of engineers is not to deploy some technology but to build robust, reliable and sustainable (in all meanings of that word) solutions for real world problems based on requirements directly derived from people's needs. Even for an engineer technology comes second at best.

{Taps Mic} {Clears Throat} “Fuck Cat Stevens. He’s as repulsive a human being as Ted Nugent. Thank you.”

(Solid playlist list otherwise 👍)

Readers reply: can you acquire courage? The long-running series in which readers answer other readers’ questions ponders how to overcome fear and do what is needed

Readers reply: can you acquire courage?

I love this so much!

That’s a wrap! At least temporarily. Leave of absence at Charlottesville-Albemarle Rescue while I’m in the Fire Academy.